I Am A Single Mother And This Is What I Need For The Society To Know
( words)
*For representational purpose only.
Hi, this is Laila. Motherhood for me has changed over the last three years, especially after my divorce.
Initially, motherhood was quite stringent, for our roles as parents were a lot more segregated. But now, motherhood for me is just as an extension of myself. My ex-husband and I practice co-parenting now, but there’s no pressure to adhere to certain roles or espouse to the given “God-complex” concomitant with motherhood.
Motherhood for me has been a huge eye-opener and I really relish the same. I became a mother when I was 32. I wasn’t that prepared as there were certain issues between me and my ex-husband, nonetheless, the delivery was very peaceful, thankfully.
My son will turn six in June and I practice this tradition with him (pre-covid)- on every birthday of his, we travel and celebrate his birthday in a different country. I really don’t like the societal ritual of birthday gifts and cakes until of course, my son asks me for the same. The entire process of planning a trip makes us both, and especially him, look forward to his birthday a lot more. A routine helps me balance my life, and also to get my me-time which includes doing yoga, and a lot of meditation.
Both my son and I are very respectful of each other’s personal space. Undoubtedly, “desi parenting” is extremely problematic and we do carry a lot of baggage from our childhood. Therefore, it becomes important to break certain patterns with time. Now, society’s notion of motherhood is totally problematic and least inclusive. Once and for all, “You don’t need to be married to be a mother!”
Even my ex-husband is a great parent despite the fact that we don’t live together. I also run this village for single parents, and it’s a community that brings together all such people from different walks of life. Each day I hear from the members telling me how this space has helped them immensely.
Lastly, I have something for mothers other than single mums- (not because I am one) ‘You really need to practice empathy’. It’s not easy to be a single mum, for there is this looming loneliness (not for a partner or sex) as a parent, and watching others exclude you, and more, your kid makes it a lot more difficult. Schools need to be more comprehensive of single moms and that’s something that has to come ASAP. And to all the single mums out there, you’re AWESOME! Much love!!
