Dear Anonymous Fan,
I am a writer existing in a parallel universe to yours. Living with my paradoxes, musings and words; emotions, insights and perceptions; commas, punctuation and grammar. I am an old soul who believes in love and romance.
I want to experience love, to feel it, to open my arms and sway away in this mesmerizing emotion that is much treasured.
When I thought that I’d never find love, I found you. I will never forget the evening that brought me to you. I opened an anonymous message on sayat.me.
It read “I don’t know you personally, but I know that you are a person who can explain a situation in beautiful ways. And very few people have that talent. I have read every article that you have shared. And please keep writing. Your name means creation and no one deserves that name more than you. You have a beautiful heart.” These were your first words to me, the first words that made me feel special.
It was like déjà vu, that familiar feeling, like I'd always known you, since forever! Not for a minute did I feel that we were talking for the first time.
It all felt just right. Like the missing pieces of life just clawed their way back.
All of a sudden, life seemed much better. It was like finding something that I had been looking for, for so long. The sleepless nights seemed to have finally found an answer. I felt like a poet, when he finishes his masterpiece, or like the spring, when beauty emerges.
I spoke to you over email. And as days passed, I talked to you more. Not wanting to know your name, not wanting to know where you stay. I still called you the “kind stranger”. We wrote mails.
In a world of WhatsApp and Instagram, I found love in my Gmail inbox.
I waited for your mails. I read them over and over. With no fear of being judged or being hurt, I poured my heart out in those mails. Every time I spoke to you, I felt myself believing in the magic of love.
Every time I spoke to you, I loved myself more.
Miles apart, you comforted my anxiety. You healed my pain. You handled my insecurities. You stayed even when I told you how scarred my soul was. You stayed when I was fragile, unreasonable and broken.
You stayed even when I wasn’t lovable.
I had pain, you had comfort. I had perceptions, you had belief. I had words, you had love. I haven’t seen you nor have I met you. I haven’t touched your fingertips or felt the curls of your hair. I haven’t wiped your tears in pain. I haven’t seen the way you smile or held your hands to feel their warmth.
I haven’t stared enough into your eyes to know if I am in love.
All I have are the words that you write for me. Ever since I have met you, I haven’t felt alone. I feel you in everything I do, everywhere I go, every minute.
Dear anonymous fan, this writer is at a loss of words; on her knees, surrendering to love, not scared, not anxious; just calm.
She whispers in your ears “I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Thank you, for giving my soul a reason to believe in the magic of love again. Thank you, for giving me a reason to love myself.
Thank you for being the kind stranger who changed my perception of love.