A Letter To My Little Girl: I Don't Want You To Be Like Me

Arpita Sk Arpita Sk in Let's Face It on 16 February, 2017

My dearest little girl,

I don't want you to grow up the way I did. I don't want you be defenceless against the world, when they attack, the way I was. So I will tell you something.

I grew up listening to fairy tales and being told I couldn't do something or the other because 'I am a girl'. When you ask me if you're pretty, I won't tell you 'yes you are' and make you believe in illusions. I will tell you, beauty is hidden deep within the surface. 

I will tell you, your soul is all I see and that's beautiful. I won't tell you that appearances matter, because they don't. But I will tell you, first impression matters.
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Don't show them who you are by your face, show them who you are in your soul. As a young child, my favourite story was the sleeping beauty. I was so fascinated by young love. I thought, goodness always wins. I thought, there were two kinds of people in the world, one are the good ones and the other, the bad ones. Goodness always prevails. The way, the curse of the evil fairy, Maleficent failed. The good ones in this story were Aroara and Prince Philip. The bad one, Maleficent.

I thought, you can find pure love easily. But, my sweetheart, love isn't something you just find on the street like a dollar if you get lucky. Love is hard, it requires sacrifices, it requires trust, it requires courage that not everyone has. Most of all, it requires time and patience, which isn't all that easy to get.

I will tell you that story from Maleficent's point of view, how there are no kinds of people. There are only people. People who make mistakes, but above all people who have the courage to accept and correct their mistakes.

Maleficent was lost in revenge, but dear girl, she found her way back. She breaths fire, she is brave. She has courage to love again and love something that is a part of what really broke her.

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I won't tell you that you'll be lucky and find your prince charming. I will first tell you the story of Cinderella, how she was a victim to her stepmother and stepsisters after her father's death. Her stepmother and sisters, used her. They treated her like a servant in her own household. They tore apart the dress she was going to wear to the ball so she wouldn't be able to attend it. She might not have had anything, but with whatever she had, she helped others. Like her mouse friends and her fairy godmother in disguise of an old hungry woman. She didn't ask her fairy godmother for riches, jewels, freedom from her step mother and sisters or even the prince. All she asked was for a night off and a dress. She was kind and she had courage. That's how you must be, be kind and have courage.

You must know, there will come evils in your life, like Cinderella's stepmother and sisters. You mustn't run, you must just be kind and have courage.

When you think, my dear girl, that you're falling into a hole, when you think you're drowning, I won't tell you it's going to be fine. I will tell you, it will be hard, really hard. You might just feel like you want to give up, you might feel like you want to end it all. But remember, sweetheart, little Alice had to fall through a dark deep hole to reach wonderland.

I will tell you again, to have courage and a little faith, a little hope. Think about Alice, she was only a child when she was thrown into a whole new world. That world was strange to her, it frightened her for sure, but she didn't flinch. How brave was she. She fought a dragon, she defeated it, not because she was fearless but because she had courage. Above all she believed in herself more than others.

My little princess, let me tell you a secret, you have a secret flame in your soul. Passion runs through your veins. Your heart is made of gold, let no one tell you otherwise. We live in a cruel world sweetheart and this world is determined to stamp out the fire burning in your soul.
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You will see it when you stand up for yourself, they'll tell you, 'it's unladylike to raise your voice.' You can see it when you wear clothes that stick to your curves and men look at you with eyes that make you feel naked and when they call you names you're too young to understand. You will see it when a man tries to use his strength on you for the first time, you will need your fists/hands/legs to get him off. But you should never let them take those flames from your heart, let it burn brighter instead. You are the daughter of the sun and you don't belong to the world, you only belong to yourself.

The world will tell you a hundred times to be yourself, darling, but they will judge you when you decide to do so. You need to remember the strength inside of you, you need to remember the flames inside of you. I know, all this seems hard at times.

At times you'll be too broken to believe that you have the the strength within you to get back up. But remember, you are the daughter of earth, your bones are not only made of chaos but also mud. If the the earth can survive destruction, earthquakes, tsunamis then, brave girl, you too can survive it all.

My darling, hope is the only thing stronger than fear. Hope for light even in the darkest of days. You will find courage.

Don't be afraid of your scars, they are beautiful. If you ever get afraid of the fire inside you, remember you are the master of these flames, not the other way around. The beautiful Elsa too, was afraid of her gifts, her ability, she almost lost because she let her fear and doubt control her. Don't let your fears and doubts come in your way, be brave, my child. You are the master of the devils dancing inside, burn them with the fire in your soul.

Remember, your soul is not a monochrome of black. It is iridescent in colour and has flames burning in it. When you meet other monsters in your life, which you will. Don't be afraid of them, don't run from them. Be afraid of the thing that made that human into a monster, heal them, my love, heal them. Shed some light on them, be gentle and let the fire in your soul warm their frozen hearts.

Always remember, to be brave, to be kind, to have courage. No matter what, only you are the master of yourself. They may defeat you, burn you, insult you, injure you, break you, but they will not, cannot, destroy you, because you are like Rome, which was built on ashes and you know how to raise back up like Phoenix.
Editor's Note:

Share this letter with every girl in the world. I've read many letters but teaching your little girl by example is something else.