When You Give Love A Second Chance And You Fail, This Is How It Feels

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 2 June, 2017

Love comes when you don't need it and goes when you need it the most. It was after almost two years that I was finally able to give love a chance. My last break up left me broken beyond repair- at least that's what I thought.

But he made me love again, he made me believe I was good enough to be loved.

But as it, once you feel hurt you see pain at every corner of your life. Even if you don't see, you expect pain coming. That's why even though I loved him, I couldn't really trust all his promises of love.

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Was it his fault or was it mine? I mean was it because he never gave me assurance of a future together; was that the reason that made our break up so obvious? Or was it my insecurities that drove us apart.

I loved him with all I had. I gave him a part of me that I would never share with anyone else. And all that I got in return was cheating. He cheated on me with another random girl. He choose her over me. He had known her for a month or two whereas we dated for a year.

It made me doubt myself. Was I not enough, was I incapable of being the one to be chosen above anyone else? He broke me, he broke me beyond repair.

A month after our break up, he remembered me again. After a month he realised he was at fault. He doesn't say he loves me but does make an effort to make me feel that I meant something to him. But what's the point? He wasn't mine now neither can he change the bad that has been done.

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Nevertheless, we stopped talking again. Things were good, I was starting to feel happy again. Love seemed to approach again in the form of a gentler and funnier companion. He started making me feel special. I was his only interest while I was with him. He would make me feel comfortable like no one ever did.

Then, just when I thought I had found my love, a secret spilled out. He was in a relationship too. He wasn't single, yet he never told me he was.

It didn't really break my heart. He just left a scar. I was dealing with this scar when my ex started messaging me again. I was lonely, I needed a friend so I started talking to him. I started telling him about the guys who were trying to hit on me.

After listening about all these guys, one fine day he said," I'm sorry. I know I did wrong but you were the best girl. I'll never find a girl like you."

His words left me wanting for more. I kept on thinking for days what he meant. My curiosity only built up by the day. Few days later he told me that his recent girlfriend, the one that he had cheated on with me, has been cheating on him too.

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To be honest it felt like karma was doing its job. But it also clarified why he all of a sudden thought I was the best girl. He just wanted a replacement. He did ask me to come back to his life after I found out about his girlfriend. And yes I did say no but deep inside I still love him. However, I know he isn't worth it.

But love knows no right or wrong. It just loves the one it chooses to love.