I don't know why I am writing this, maybe I just need to give vent to my feelings and this seems like the platform to do it. Anyways, here goes nothing..,

I am a 19-year-old girl and I just got out of a breakup some months ago. As you would imagine, I was depressed and heartbroken. Some of my friends suggested that I join Tinder. I was at reluctant at first but decided gave it a try anyway thinking that “What’s the worst that could happen”. So Yeah, I joined tinder but didn't find anyone interesting initially.

But then, I come upon this guy's profile. He is almost the stereotype of the perfect gentleman that every girl dreams of. He looked handsome, smart and fun. AND…he had dimples too! So I swiped right for him and what do I know… even he did! I was a little in shock, wondering what he liked about me. I am not the sort of girl to typically question myself but that day, I did.

So, we start talking. We got to know a bunch of things about each other. He was like a male version of me. All our likes and dislikes seemed to match. It felt too good to be true. So we ended up confessing that we liked each other after some time had passed. Was I in love? I don’t know. But it sure felt like it.  I didn’t plan to tell him exactly how I felt but he was very open about his feelings for me that he had fallen for me and well, I did too. Sooo.. you know, we started dating. Everything was like a fairytale. We used to talk to each other every day. He always used to always find a way to make me smile or blush. I would ask him what did you like about me? He would say it was my cheeks. He was very smart too. He would tell me that “I love you till infinity squared.”

Sigh…I was on cloud nine. Everything was just perfect.

But he never gave me his number. We would still always used to talk on Tinder. I guess that was the first sign that I could not trust him. But I was too smitten in love to pay attention. We decided to meet up after a few more days of chatting. It was supposed to be a special day, wasn't it? But little did I know it was going to leave a scar in my life that I am not sure will heal easily.

We decided to meet on Monday. His college was about to start... so it was very convenient for us too. Plans were made and everything. So I went to the spot where we were supposed to get together. But he was not there. I waited. NOTHING. I messaged him asking where he was. No response. I waited an hour for him. He never showed up. Now, I was worried. I called another friend of mine to meet me and we started messaging him asking him where he is. I was having a very strong intuition that something really bad is going to happen.

We continued messaging him and then suddenly, I get a notification on Tinder of his message. I opened it and got the biggest surprise.

He had unmatched me. But why? I messaged him on Instagram. He ignored that too. I was so pissed at him that I sent him a message saying that I am done with him. Then, I cried. I have never ever cried in a public place, but this guy made me cry ugly tears. I kept on messaging asking him why he abandoned me. I felt like I was somehow responsible for his actions. I messaged him the whole day on Instagram, but he never replied. The next day I messaged him on Facebook. I told him how much I loved him; I told him that I knew he could not do anything like this without reason.

I told him that I know that he loves me. Finally, I got a reply which just shattered my heart into pieces. He said, "I don't. Seriously"

He blocked me everywhere. I don't know what made him do this. He seemed like such a genuine soul and he made me fall for him before I could even process it. I still miss him and I am ashamed to admit, still love him. But that love is slowly turning toxic. I don't know what I will do if ever saw him again.

If you are reading this I just wanna tell you that I love you, My nerdy boy, but you have given me such a pain that I won't ever come back to you.

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