Love Relationships Dating break-up Life lessons heartbreak toxic insecurities

We Were So Happy Together But My Insecurities Ruined Everything

( words)
*For representational purpose only.
There is always that one person who changes your life and turns your world upside down just by being a part of it. I had that person in my life too.

When he entered my life, I was at a point where I had completely lost faith in love. To me, love was a sugar coated poison. The kind of poison that kills you slowly. Initially, one may even enjoy the process. 

I had my share of bad relationships and I had no hope from love, that is when he walked in.

With him, things were completely different. He was so honest about everything that I couldn’t help being honest with him. I was always considered the ‘sunshine’ amongst my friends and family; it wasn’t because I was always happy, it was because I never shared my fears and insecurities with anyone. But with him, I was naked. He was such a patient listener.

Just after a month of knowing him, we got into a relationship. I couldn’t help it. He didn’t propose to me like you see in those movies but I could see my world in him. To the world, he was a hardcore professional but to me, he was a baby who only needed my love and affection. 

It was the happiest time of my life. With every passing day our bond became stronger. The first year of our relationship was beautiful but then something happened. I don’t know why I started becoming insecure.

I started doubting him at every step. I would pick up a fight over really petty and silly things like why was he liking the pictures of other girls on Facebook. 

My continuous suspicion was somewhere taking a toll on our relationship. Initially, he used to clarify and make me understand that I am freaking out over no reason. But I was blind in my ego and rage. At the drop of a hat, I used to ask for a break up.

I spoiled this blessed relationship with my overthinking and insecurities. I would apologize over and over again but I used to let him down every time.

And finally he lost it too. He decided to close this chapter to restore his peace of mind. I begged, pleaded and asked for forgiveness but he was done; he couldn’t take it anymore. He walked away.

Everyday is a living hell to me now. I pray for him to come back to my life. I never thought a single person could turn my life around like this, but he did.

When you know someone loves you truly, it is really hard to let that person go and that too because of your stupidity. I just want him back in my life now. I know he still loves me the way he used to, just that he has stopped expressing.

 

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