We Always Stand By Each Other And Still, ‘Love’ Is Not Enough

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 16 February, 2018

‘V’ entered my life when I was a mess! I had started speaking to random people on Facebook and flirted with everyone because I felt lonely. I never got any love from my parents and most of my friends had betrayed me. Also, I had always been ashamed of my appearance because I had facial hair.

So I wanted to lose myself in the virtual world. No one judged me for being fat or ugly in this world.

I had just finished with my 11th-grade exams when a common Facebook best friend introduced me to ‘V’. He was pursuing his engineering at that time. He had attitude problems and never spoke to me. In fact, we would always end up fighting even if we chatted for just 2 minutes.

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I was supposed to meet my Facebook best friend for the first time in a mall. That is when he decided to play Cupid in our lives by bringing ‘V’ with him. He excused himself because he wanted us to spend time with each other. We ended up watching Agent Vinod. But after a while, we got thoroughly bored.

As soon as we started chatting with each other, we realized that we felt very comfortable with each other. It was as if we had been childhood friends. We ended up spending the entire day together.

He neither made fun of my appearance nor taunted me about being overweight.

Soon it was time for us to go back to our homes. We went to the metro station because he had to catch a train to reach his house. I was just on my way out from the station when I turned back to look at him one last time. He had not expected me to look back again. I could not catch sight of him but he said he had seen me looking back and that had created a spark in his heart.

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This meeting was the turning point in our relationship because we could now speak freely all the time without fighting with each other.

In fact, we became close and shared everything with each other. I realized that he too felt lonely because he was experiencing various problems at home. 

Earlier, I would end up feeling depressed and would hurt myself whenever I faced even a petty issue at home. Every time I thought of hurting myself or was abused in some way at home, he would just message me and ask me about it.

He would be concerned about me and would want to know whether I was fine! I wondered how he could sense my pain without being with me. But it felt magical because he would always support me at such times and would not allow me to harm myself. I slowly grew into a strong person with his support.

Over a period of time, I realized that I had fallen in love with him. I confessed my feelings to him. He assumed that I was flirting with him and hence turned my confession into a joke. After that, I did not dare to confess to him again.

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But after 10 months I told him that I loved him with all my heart. I could no longer suppress my true feelings for him. He reciprocated my feelings the next day. But things suddenly became awkward between us.

I insisted that he come down to meet me so that we could clarify things. He did come. He then proposed to me very shyly and asked me to be his girlfriend. That was the day our fairytale started.  We never fought and understood each other very well. We did not feel jealous because we trusted each other.

We then started behaving like friends. Nothing like love existed in our relationship. Maybe it had been just infatuation. I asked him to break up with me. But he cried and told me that he will make me realize how much he loved me before New Year's Eve. And boy! He really did that!

He did not woo me with gifts or lovely words. But he proved his unconditional love for me with his actions. That was more than enough for me.

All through this phase, we had kept in touch only through text messages. Apps like WhatsApp had not yet been created at that time. He always stayed within his limits and respected me a lot. He never abused me or hit me like my parents and brother. He loved his sister and his mother the most.

I realized that he had a lot of respect for women.
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A few years later, I completed my graduation with flying colours and got placed in an MNC. But he could not complete his graduation and had to drop out of college. He was depressed when this happened but I was there with him during this phase of his life.

He made the mistake of trusting a girl who promised to get him pass marks in all his subjects. This girl also assured him of getting him a job. She took a lot of money from him and other people too in order to get this done. But she ran away with the money that she had collected from so many people. He ended up owing money to a lot of people. So I helped him pay back all the money to the other people. But he continued to feel bad about the whole thing and felt depressed all the time.

I remembered the days when I had been undergoing a tough phase in my life and how he had always been there for me. I felt sad to see that he himself felt so sad now.

He wanted to start a business but his dad did not support him. So he decided to join his dad’s factory. But the partners of his dad’s firm and his dad were jealous of all the work that he did in the factory. None of them had been able to bring about these changes in the firm even over several years. They threw him out of the firm because the labourers had started trusting him more than his dad and his partners.

I am 22 now and he is 25. Both of us are worried about our future. My parents want me to get married but he is working on his own online business for the past 2 years. But it is yet to take off. He is a Kshatriya and belongs to the Other Backward Category. He belongs to a small city, is a college dropout and doesn’t know English. I am a Brahmin and belong to an upper caste family. My parents are well off and I excelled in my studies.  My parents are looking out for a groom for me who is the exact opposite of my boyfriend.

But none of these things matters to me because we love each other. He means the world to me. I will fight for him with him so that I can be with him.
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I have only one condition and that is: he should settle down in life and start earning before I marry him. 

We know that love alone cannot fill our tummies. We also know that I cannot bear all the expenses of our future alone.

I respect him because he accepts me even though I am not very good looking. Looks never really mattered to him. He loves my heart and soul. The quantum of his income does not matter to me. I just want him to settle down first.  I love him more than my own dear life. I hope everything turns out well because I cannot leave him.

Editor's Note:

Instead of getting carried away by the euphoria of their love – this couple believes in patience and standing by each other in good and bad times. Relationships become so very beautiful when love, trust, understanding and mutual respect are peppered with a liberal dose of sheer common sense. Do share this story because a lot of youngsters are struggling to strike this kind of a balance in their love lives.