Two Failed Marriages Later, I'm Alive Only Because Of My Child

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 21 December, 2017

I don’t know how and where to begin my story.

I was always a great daughter to my parents. I never got into messy situations or created any problems that would disappoint my parents or siblings. Yet, my life was filled with more downs than ups.

I never saw any ups in life after the word ‘marriage’ was added to it.
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My first marriage was at the age of 21. It was like a doll show for me. Someone came, the wedding date was fixed and the marriage was done!

Soon after the wedding, I realized that my husband’s siblings and his father had vanished! After inquiring, I got to know that they lived separately. My husband and his mom stayed alone. I never said anything thinking that they must have had personal issues.

My innocent family never doubted them or tried to figure what was happening in their life.

They trusted the boy’s family and gave away their daughter. It was only after the marriage that I discovered their secrets. My so-called husband was impotent!

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His family environment was also messed up. When the family had a get-together, which was actually a drinking party, being the newly wedded wife, I was asked to serve them.

I was shocked but tried to manage things without informing and troubling my parents.

I did not even know what sex or married life was until I got married as I was born and brought up in a traditional family with a healthy environment.

After just a month of being married, my mother-in-law picked a fight with me over a simple thing and ended up beating me for no reason. That was a terrifying day for me.

I left for my relative’s house but my husband never stopped me nor did he come to take me back.
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When my elders called him, he said that we would accept me only on the condition that I did not keep any contact with other people. He said that I couldn’t even keep a phone! He was willing to take me back only if my family agreed to his conditions.

My father broke the marriage and brought me home. My first marriage ended in a divorce.

It took me a year to come out of the trauma and understand that all my family members were upset because of me. I decided to make myself stronger and started living not happily but with responsibility. But my troubles didn’t end here.

Suddenly, my dad passed away.

He had given me the courage to live in this dirty world but he couldn’t bear the bad things that had happened to his sweet daughter.

Thereafter, I made my mind even stronger and started handling my family. A couple of years later, I was faced with a new mess.

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There was a guy I trusted as a friend and well-wisher. I opened up to him about my past and the concerns and issues in my life.

However, I didn’t know much about his life, what he did and how much he earned.

I considered him to be a good friend and understood his problems, as he didn’t have parents and had other family troubles. I fell for his so-called words of ‘love’ and we got married. A year passed and I tried my best to understand him and his issues. In the meantime, we were blessed with a cute baby.

In this one year, he also faced a lot of financial ups and downs. Within no time, we were in a debt of lakhs that had to be paid to the public. His business had suffered major losses due to his wrong ways of handling things.

Several years went by. It’s been 20 years since my dad passed away and I never stopped earning.

My husband doesn’t care about me and we have a lot of messy fights. It’s a horrible situation to deal with. I can’t even describe it in words.

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I can go on and on about the insults that I have been tolerating. As a result of all this, I developed several health issues.

I was so depressed that I wanted to die and kill my child also instead of leaving him to suffer all by himself after my death!

But I decided to live. I want to leave my husband and live alone with my kid but I’m not sure what to do.

Sometimes, I feel that my child should have a father but sometimes, my husband’s psycho mind makes me feel that he is not good for the kid as well.

Both my marriages did not give me any happiness and failed me from succeeding in life. Now, I’m confused about what is right and wrong.

My educated friends suggested that I leave my husband but my traditional family friends believe that I should ignore him and continue living like this.

In all this, I’ve realized that financial independence is a must to be strong in this world especially when it comes to your child’s future. My husband has never looked after us yet he expects my politeness.

I’m not worried about my life but I’m worried about my child.

However, I will live to give my child a good life.

 

Editor's Note:

Getting out of a marriage, even an unhappy one, is a difficult step especially when you have a child. However, you need to do what is best, no matter how hard it may seem. Share this story because we need to support this mother who has to take the right decision for herself and her child.