Hope you remember her, that cheerful girl who used to live every second of her life. The girl whose smile alone could take away all sorrows around her. The girl who loved you more than herself, the girl who made you her entire world despite knowing that she was just another contact on your phone, who you texted whenever you got tired of your busy life.
May be she was good for your ego, maybe you liked knowing that someone was always available to answer your calls regardless of the time and situation, may be you liked seeing someone trying that hard for you.
There is a whole sea of 'maybe’s' where she is standing right now, drowning in her thoughts, questioning her own identity. And she is the only one to be blamed for this because she decided to continue swimming even after hearing the forecast of the coming storm. However, her mistake was that she considered you as her life guard. You can call her insane for doing what she did, just like what everyone else is saying about her.
Her friends shouted, "Are you blind? He doesn’t love you and never will, why can’t you see what he is doing to you?" Little did they know that she was not blind. In reality, she was a coward, coward enough to accept her mistake.
When you entered her life, you promised her that you will be there to help her and slowly she started to believe that you were her savior.
She finally told you her darkest secrets and let you see her deepest wounds. She told you that she was getting addicted to you, to your presence, to your company, your words. She trusted you and the timing of her life. You remained at the top of her chatting list. From sweet morning messages to goodnight texts, you shared every tiny detail of your day with her, you discussed new songs and the lyrics you loved the most, you two talked about sweet nothings all day, all night.
By holding your hand she let you in, without realizing that you were slowly becoming her life. You shouldn't have made her fall for you when you knew that you weren’t going to catch her.
She tried her best to not fall for you but her destiny tried its best to make her do exactly that. You always said the right things at the right time till one day she finally realized that you were literally the person she always wanted to be with.
With this realization, she switched on her self-destruction mode.
Soon you started changing and she stood there puzzled about your behavior. Your long texts got shorter by the second. Everything about her that you previously admired now irritated the hell out of you. You didn’t have time for her anymore and she started blaming herself, thinking that she may have done something wrong.
She kept waiting day and night to hear from you and you were too busy to hear her break down on the phone.
She kept losing herself every time you didn’t answer her call, every message you ignored, every time you chose someone else over her. She was always available for you and that bothered you so you chose your plans over her always. She fought with everyone who said anything bad about you, losing her friends she kept defending you just to be called a "fool" by the end of it all.
Today she is feeling sick and really tired, tired of finding reasons behind everything just to stay with you. You made her believe that she could be 'someone’s sometime' but could never be ‘someone’s forever’.
The journey of loving you was never easy for her, she kept giving up on her self-respect because you were too stubborn to let go off your ego. Finally the day arrived when her biggest fears turned into reality. You said, "It’s my mistake, I am sorry." You know what, your six words were enough to tear her apart in a thousand pieces.
Nothing can be worse than being called your lover's mistake, that the best thing that ever happened to you feels guilty for loving you. She still wondered if it would have hurt any less had you just left without naming her pure love as some unforgivable sin of yours.
Every night she cried herself to sleep trying to figure out what went wrong, she still blamed herself for everything. She screamed, why wasn’t she good enough, shouted your name out loud but you were nowhere to be seen. You made a soul die. She loved you, she still does to the moon and back but even she does not know what to do now.
Sincerely yours and only yours,
Till her last breath.