To My Dear Ex Girlfriend: A Letter To Let You Know That I Forgive You

The Unwitty Me The Unwitty Me in Life Is Tough on 17 April, 2017

To My Dear Ex,

It has been 2 years since our break up; more than a year since we had any kind of a meaningful conversation. You might wonder as to why I am writing this letter and you’ll find the answer as you continue reading. As you know, you were my first girlfriend.

You have given me a lot of memories that I am thankful for and a few things that I learned along the way. I am thankful for the kisses and hugs. I am thankful for the love that you showed. But most importantly, I am thankful to you for breaking up with me.

Sure, I was glad that we were in a relationship when it started, but you will have to admit that you telling me that you were in love with someone else wasn’t exactly a good note to start a relationship. I recovered from that, I believed you when you said that you wanted to move on and that you liked me and that you needed my help to move forward.

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I didn’t see it then, that I was nothing more than a rebound. A rebound who you showed dreams bigger than he had ever imagined. A rebound who you promised a world where we would be together. I cannot believe that I thought that I was in love with you.

Today, with the benefit of hindsight, I realized that what I thought was love was nothing more than the need of a lonely heart to be with someone, to care for someone, to love someone. This heart didn’t let me see past your false promises of being together, standing up against your family for us, the same promises that I asked you repeatedly not to make. The promises which you said would be true, that you’ll work to make them come true. I learnt the hard way that promises are meant to be broken but I also learnt that the ones who won’t break a promise will never need to make one.

I am not a fan of coincidences but when I started writing this letter, I got a call. The call informed me that you got engaged. It was then that I knew that I was never truly in love with you. I wasn’t jealous nor was I happy for you. I truly was indifferent and for some reason I kept smiling.

Strangely, at one point you were the centre of my life and I could not have seen a life without you. You were my obsession and my passion. I was possessive about you and surely a bit insecure, I’m sure you found those parts suffocating, and I’m sorry for that.

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For quite some time, I can say that for an unhealthy amount of time, after our break up, I kept hoping that we would get back together. We could have worked things out. But we didn’t. Maybe we lacked the requisite wisdom to handle the complications in our relationship. Maybe I suffocated you too much; maybe you gave up too easily, maybe we were not mature enough. Either way, the past is now just past. 

I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss you from time to time, being at our coffee shop, where we said we loved each other and also where you said that it’s over between the two of us, or our little stolen moments in classes or our long video chats. They did mean a lot. 

While writing this letter, I realized it was more important for me to just write this letter than to let you now how I felt. 

All I want to do now is apologize for any hurt I caused you when we were together (maybe in this letter) and make it known that I’ve forgiven you from the bottom of my heart. I hope you do the same.

We won’t be friends again, and we will both be fine with that. But let me take this opportunity to thank you for breaking up with me. It is only because of what you did, today I have the hope that I will find someone who will be willing to take the risks you couldn’t, who will be willing to fight of us, someone who will make doing all this look easy.

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Hopefully this letter was as satisfying to read as it was to write.

Sincerely, 

Your Ex.

P.S: I heard you got married. I would like to congratulate you and wish you both a wonderful life together.

Author's Note:

The idea for this post is borrowed (read stolen) from another writer, a much better and much smarter writer, coincidentally, a writer with the same last name as mine. Before I start my letter, I want you to know why I am writing it. You can look at this sort of whining of a heart turned bitter or simply a way to get things off my chest and maybe finally help me move on completely. I am also writing to thank her for breaking up with me (the reason for which is in the letter). I am also writing this because over the course of our relationship, she wrote to me 3 beautiful letters filled with so much love that I would have never guessed the fate of the relationship then and I think I owe her at least a letter.

Editor's Note:

The day you find it in yourself to forgive and forget, it's a moment you should celebrate. Share this story because life is too short for holding regrets, learn from the experiences instead.