They say a family is anyone who loves you unconditionally but those vows of loving to the moon and back finally came to an end when she denied sleeping with him. It was betrayal, it was disrespect, it went totally against the concept of unconditional love.
She had fears, she had her own value system, her own beliefs, attitudes, and definitions. Maybe she had some horrifying past. Whatever was the reason, the truth is she denied to commit. With time he kept changing, she kept on wondering and one fine day they became strangers once again.
If you are in your mid 20’s, you might have heard this story so many times. Sometimes from a girl’s perspective- "OMG! Helen, stay aware. He just wants your body." Sometimes from a boy’s perspective- "Dude! She is in your life only for free food. Your relationship is questionable if she doesn’t sleep with you."
I too fell in love with you, but my dear, my love was a little beyond sex.
Of course, as a learner of social psychology, I totally understand the importance of passion in a romantic relationship. It adds fuel, it acts as an engine. It is a definite way to come closer but is love only about passion? Kissing, smooching, hugging and that shows how much I love you? Am I not missing the elements of companionship here? What about the emotional connect and the intellectual similarity that two people need to establish before they end up calling themselves a couple? Is it really love? Really?
True love is marriage of minds.
According to research, romantic love lasts for only one year and did you know every 13 seconds, a couple in the USA files for a divorce. Want to know what’s worse? According to an article published in Psychology Today, 43% of marriages break within 15 years. We were talking about love and all of a sudden we came to a destructive end.
Did you ever think about giving these numbers a thought? What could be the reason behind these delicate, brittle bonds that leave two beautiful people in a miserable life, questioning their own self-esteem, social status and existence?
"And if love be madness, may I never find sanity again.” – John Mark Green
Being passionate is a good idea, but passion without a sense of respect, emotional bond, mental connect, could be a lethal choice if you are someone who values mental well-being and healthy relationships. And if you are in a relationship, misguided by a bunch of people who strongly believe having sex is equivalent to love and you are planning to leave your partner, think again.
This seems like an unending complicated story, the more you scroll, the more it confuses you.
Can we have a solution once and for all? Well, the good news is yes! The beauty of language is that a single word has multiple meanings. No two people perceive the same word in the same way. We all have different definitions and diverse understandings.
So, the next time when someone says, “Baby, I love you,”
It would be a sensible insanity to pause for a while, ask the beautiful lady her meaning of love, possibly derive a common definition by spending time, developing a friendship, emotional bonding so that you save your kind innocent heart from suffering and saying "La Belle Dame sans Merci" (The beautiful lady without mercy).