This Is How I Lost The Two Things I Was Most Passionate About: I Regret Everything

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 6 July, 2017

There will come a time when you will regret you’re alive, there will be a time you’ll always want to go back to, and there will be time you’ll want to go back to so that you can mend things that have now ruined your life.

We regret everything, we regret ourselves, people and most of all our existence. But why do we blame everything and everyone? Is that fair?

On the morning of 20th November 2016, I was driving and I caused an accident; an accident that nearly took away someone’s life. An accident that haunts me every night, every morning and that causes shivers down my spine every time I see a car close to my vehicle.
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I have a family that had supported me through all of this, but all I did in return was ruin my mother’s surprise birthday holiday to Thailand, and today I regret it. It’s been almost 5 months to that day. Today, I am still afraid to drive a car, what was the love of my life at one point.

When I was in third grade, I was fond of dancing, so fond that I took dance classes for a year. One evening I was waiting for my mother to pick me up, when my instructor kissed and touched me inappropriately. I never knew how to stand up against it and tell my parents, the same parents who I love so much, the ones who have stood by me through everything. Today, I regret it. I stopped dancing, now I act like I have two left feet but the 9 year old in me yearns to dance like every other flawless dancer.

In these rough times, all I’ve learnt is to stop regretting. Being a pessimist has been the biggest threat in my life because I give up on things I shouldn’t give up on and end up regretting it later.

Many of us are on the same boat as me, the boat of regret. I humbly urge the readers to get out of this mess and help people like me to stand up for ourselves, you don’t have to be the next me, be someone who can stand up without any fear or regret.