This is the story of my life after marriage. Ours is a love marriage and love was in the air. We got married and soon after that, I met with an accident. My body was not efficient at all during that time, only my right hand was working. Therapy was going on for days and months, my mother-in-law visited our house with her sister and nephew right after that accident. Okay, so they helped me with many things but on the same side, they were not supportive towards my situation.
If my mother would have been there, she would have done things for me. But this was mother-in-law so what could I expect?
Like any other human being would, I too tried to work as much as I could, even when I was supposed to be on the bed because of my many injuries. It was a new house too which nobody had set up for us before marriage and I had worked hard to set everything. But my mother-in-law and her sister had planned to go for a trip then, did it really make any sense when someone is injured? If her son was in the same situation would she have done the same thing? No mother would have. I missed my mother a lot at that time but we were in different states so she could not even come to see me. One day, I had pain in my spine because I was doing physical work, so I was lying in bed. My husband came and asked me "what are you doing here?” I told him the same thing but he was blaming me, saying things like why am I doing this, can't I see that his mom and her sister are working in the kitchen so if I can't work then at least I should stand there with them.
I told him I'm not able to stand even, as I'm not in good health and I have done whatever I could do. Badly I was missing my mother and family. This conversation converted into a fight and then his mother came into our bedroom without knocking. She also started to take his side, and yes her sister also came. I cried loudly and pleaded with them to let me go to my home, and I'll come back once my condition would be good. At that moment I could not think about anything except my family, I realized how caring, loving they were with me. This incident had happened just after 15 days of marriage. I'm a very strong personality but here I could not control my emotions. The same had happened at my reception too, they did not invite my family to my own wedding reception though we had treated them so well, even better than their expectations. The worst part is, I had booked the tickets for my family in advance so they could come to my reception. I had to cancel them on my wedding day and I'm the only daughter of my parents. My husband did not ask me even once about it, nor did he confront his parents. They welcomed me very badly, I can see it now. My mother-in-law’s sister asked me at my reception, "humne sunna hai ki tum tadka or mirchi ache se laga leti ho". How am I supposed to react to this on my wedding reception? Somebody answered it on my behalf, and that was my husband's friend. I felt so insulted in front of him too.
Getting back to the day they reached my home, the next day itself they wanted go out for some fun, in this condition also I managed to go out with them.
They could not understand me. Almost every day I cried. My husband is good but I do not know who he was at that time. Finally, my mother-in-law went back to her house with her sister but many things happened in this time period. Our marriage is the ideal marriage for everyone but what is actually happening, is not in front of everyone. I have not told anything to my family because already they are going through a difficult time in their lives. I wish to tell them and cry out loudly to them. Everything is just within me, I don’t know whom should I tell. Nobody is there to listen, not even friends. All the time I feel like an outsider in this house, nobody is concerned for my wellbeing. Everything is only about my husband and his family. My family and I are nowhere on their priority list. I do not know if every girl feels the same, I'm here and have everything but there my parents might be needing me, however, I am not able to reach them.
This thing is always in my mind, every day. But no one can understand it I think. My husband’s brother, he's also not concerned how I feel or not, he does not even wish me on birthdays and anniversaries. It was my first birthday after marriage and even my husband’s cousins did not wish me. Theirs is a joint family but we live separately in another state for work. His are cousins also in the same state. They could not even wish us on our anniversary and I'm supposed to keep everyone happy. Why? Nobody respects me, I have this feeling. So many things have happened, like once they were discussing some home matters, but they did not include me. If my husband transfers money to them, he does not discuss it with me, not even once. I'm not going to stop him but it will show that he respects my decision too and it matters if he at least talks to me about such things. I'm an outsider completely. Nobody cares about my decisions or views.
Am I overthinking? How am I supposed to feel?
I really miss my family a lot. I just wanted to get some love, nothing else. I can not explain all the things I have been through but I have tried my best to make things work out. My parents know that I'm a strong girl but in reality, I'm getting weak and broken day by day. I can't go back to my home because of the situation there. How would someone feel if he/she is disrespected, not valued, left out of discussions? How should a person be happy in this situation when people expect that person to be happy? Now I'm doing a job after an eight-month break due to my accident and am trying to reach my goal. Every second, my family is in my mind and heart and I am still trying to settle with these people somehow with a smile because I want to see my family happy always.