Here goes the story. I had a crush on a girl in my second year. Not my first crush, but it was surely something more than a crush or infatuation. She's my batchmate. In my first year, I was the one to initiate a conversation with her, over Facebook. She responded very well. This way, we were chatting for about a month. Finally, we exchanged numbers and the talking now started over Whatsapp and calls were a rare thing then, but they existed.

We used to chat like we had known each other since forever.

But, when it came to facing each other, like in college campus during our college hours, awkwardness used to set in for both of us. I didn't mind it, rather I used to enjoy this awkwardness. Things carried on like this for sometime. Almost after a year later, I asked her for a date. She agreed instantly. This was the first time I was going to have a deep conversation with her, 'face to face'. It was a good date (I think).

Now the story started taking twists and turns. A month after our date, I got to know that she had a boyfriend and they were in a relationship since many years. I had asked her about this, over the chat, indirectly. I felt broken inside completely. But, I stayed calm and continued with things as they were. In the second year, we had a prom night. I gathered all the courage and blurted everything that was in my mind, in front of her. Obviously, she was not my prom partner and it was not a proposal.

I expected something like this - "I have a boyfriend, we can't have a relationship, but I can surely be your best friend." But her reply was, "If I had any bit of an idea about this in my past, I would have surely not gotten into a relationship with my current boyfriend. I would have always preferred you."

After hearing this, I was shocked as well as happy. And, this was the moment I thought, I could make something happen now. Months passed, and one fine day, I decided to make an indirect proposal to her. I called her and told her to meet me. We met. I came straight to the point. These were my words - "Me or him?" Gasping silence all around. After a while, she replied, "I like, or rather I love you, but I can't leave him either." To make things worse, she said, "In the future, if you get into a relationship with any other girl, I would be the saddest person on this planet and would cry copiously."

So ultimately, she wants me, but can't and doesn't want me to be with another girl, what am I supposed to do? Die single?! Again days passed, I called her again, asked her to meet. We met. The same things were discussed. I asked her for a firm, undisputed answer. But, this time, things went wrong. I asked her, "If you want to say no to me, just say it, so that I would be free to move on." But, she had the same reply, "I want you, as well as that other guy..." Things worsened, we had a terrible fight, at last, we broke our so called 'relationship' or rather friendship. That was the day, I decided, I would never think of getting into a relationship without establishing, stabilizing myself, working hard and then one fine day, the girl of my dreams would surely enter my life. 

The girl who'll choose me over any man in the world. 

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