Sometimes I wonder, that smile on your face … Is it because of me or her?
It hurt every time you assured me that she didn’t mean a thing to you, but you secretly told her how much you loved her. You probably have told her I love you more than the times you have said it to me.
Every time you told me I love you, you meant it for her. I could never love any other person except you but you found love multiple times in different people. The first time you cheated on me you called it a lust, next time you were just flirting around and then all I knew you fell in love with your high school sweetheart all over again.
Each time you said sorry and promised not to repeat the mistake, you did it again and again. There were no regrets and you had no intention to stop.
And you still asked me to trust you. How could you even? The first time you cheated on me, I tried to end my life and you were completely shaken after that. I thought it was your care and love towards me, but how naïve I was. You were only concerned about your reputation and nothing more.
Next time I caught you again, you said it was nothing more than a casual conversation but I could completely smell you were falling for her. I asked you to back off this time but you didn’t, instead, you found other means to do that so that I don’t find out about it. You went on to flirt with someone you haven’t even met and I warned you about the implications it could have on us.
You chose to ignore like every time. You pleaded guilty and acted like you have realised your mistake. You said you will be a completely new person. But were you?
It was a never-ending trauma for me. Even when you were with me, you couldn’t resist yourself from texting her. I had my head on your shoulder and you were telling her how much you love her.
Now that all your cards are out on the table, you are left with no choice but to ask for forgiveness again. In your defence, you also claimed that you never crossed your limit. But what you don’t understand is that you crossed all lines when you confessed your love to someone else while being married to me.
Do you really think cheating is only through physical intimacy? No, you played with my emotions and that’s even worse than getting physical with someone else.
How do you expect me to you trust you again? When all you did was to take me for granted and go around playing your little games. I can only hate myself for forgiving you once more. You know I can leave you right now and punish you so bad. But what will I gain from it? My family would be over and the respect and love your kids have for you will be gone.
Will that affect you? I know for a fact that it won’t and you would be a free man to do whatever you want to.
If you are thinking, I won’t let you get away with everything so easily. I will stay and love you. The only thing that would change is I won’t trust you anymore. And next time, I find you cheating on me; get ready to fall in a pit dug by me.
I promise I will hurt you so bad that you won’t be able to get up ever again.