My Parents Wanted Me To Change So That I Could Find A Decent Husband: I Gave In But Not Anymore

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 19 July, 2017

During my teenage years, when every girl wore whatever they wanted to wear, I wasn’t allowed to do the same because my religion didn’t allow me to wax. I spent a lot of time explaining my peers why I couldn’t purchase a certain kind of dress or why I never waxed the hair on my legs. I completed my graduation without a single visit to the parlour.

Another parallel fight was my weight. As years passed, I kept gaining weight. So eventually, my only option was to wear Indian everyday. People started calling me, “aunty ji”. I wanted to wear those sleeveless dresses and Kurtis but it didn’t really upset me because I had close friends who understood my situation.

Then came the time when I had to get married. My looks weighed more than any qualification I had ever earned. I was forced to lose weight, get waxed and give up my specs. I was suddenly forced to become a person I was not.
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I did lose 20kgs and made all kinds of changes to my personality just so that I could “fit” my fiance's requirements. I was a new person but somewhere I wasn’t happy with this transition. People were surprised when they saw me, I was so different; some were even jealous.

But as the time passed, I started to rethink; is this what I want? Is this who I am? Do I like being this way? The answer was NO. I was extremely content with myself and wanted to focus on being a good human being. Today, I am being asked to change because my in-laws won’t approve. I wonder what will happen if I get fat again post marriage? Will my husband still love me?

So eventually I broke this superficial relationship. I am back to what I love to be. I also gained a bit of weight but no regrets because this is me and I love being this way. Going to office in my kurti, with spectacles on, no heels and no makeup. It’s just what makes me happy.

My true friends love me for who I am.