indian marriage fear indian husband husband and wife coronavirus Life In The Times Of Corona corona journal curfew section 144

My Husband Is In Lockdown With Us But I'm The Only One Finding Us Strength

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I am a wife and a mother. I can't tell you how loaded these roles are when you are in lockdown. My only contact with the outside world is my TV, maybe. But there's no chance of getting any good news now. All we do is watch some news channels and the only thing we can hear is scary numbers. Positive cases, deaths, how much the COVID-19 virus has spread. 

It's scary because it's really close to home, and it's not just something that happens to other people. It could happen to us and we will never even know. I've realized one thing through this ordeal- I am not brave. In fact, I'm the biggest coward I know. 

I distract myself from my fear. I look to my husband for support. But he isn't there for me. 

What kind of a husband stays at home 24*7 and doesn't lift a finger to help me? So, I pick a fight with him. Only to realize that I don't care what he does, I really love him a lot. If the virus keeps spreading like this, I'm afraid of what might happen. The fear of losing him is far too overwhelming. 

If this lockdown period is actually the best time to spend with our family, I will use every second of this opportunity. I can't bear to lose them. I will not lose them. I look at my daughter's face and I remind myself that I'm an independent, strong-minded woman. At least, I used to be. Which means that part of me is in here somewhere and it's my job to bring it out. 

Whenever I see the news, my heart goes out to everyone. 

Please God, give us the strength. Give us all the strength to get through this together. 

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