My First Love Was My Best Friend And I Didn't Even Realise It Till He Blocked Me From Everywhere

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 11 June, 2017

It was a boring early morning lecture during my FYJC. Suddenly a pat on my shoulder by a girl asking for me to call a guy sitting right in front of me. I call him and inform him that the girl was calling him. That was the first time I saw him.

A few days later I see him in my college campus and he walks up to me asking if I studied in the same college. I was glad to know that he knew me and studied in the same college as me.

A few days passed and we started talking regularly, from class to class we used to be together almost the whole day. We used to hangout at McDonald's together most times. He always paid for my meal and when I insisted on reimbursing, he always refused. We even had inside jokes!

Everybody in class assumed that we were dating but we were becoming really good friends.

We used to have breakfast together every morning before college. We were childish yet mature at times. We would gossip about people together. We could have meaningful conversations too.

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Never realised he was good at pretending. Never did I realize that he would back bitch about me with his other friends. I never realized that he used to make fun of me behind my back. I never realized that he did not consider me as his friend. Isn't it the worst thing when you think a person is becoming your best friend and he decides to betray your trust?

A small misunderstanding and he put the blame on me and did not trust me. I mean seriously? Didn't he understand me at all? I felt played on. He never tried to contact me ever, I tried but he ended up blocking me. A few weeks later when I was having a conversation with my best friend (she used to sit with me throughout FYJC).

She made me realize that I was in love with him. I was in love with him all that time and I realised it when our friendship was over because he betrayed my trust. I was in love with him for two and a half years only to get hurt in the end.

After falling in love for the first time, it takes a long time to move on, it took me exactly two and a half years to move on. I would cry myself to sleep every night. Eventually I came out of it but I was so proud of myself that I went through the emotional struggle and I came out stronger than ever. However, that experience made it difficult for me to trust people, it's been one year since I moved on but I still can't trust people.

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I was an extrovert, that experience made me an introvert. It changed me completely, I miss the old me so much but I can never go back to who I was because of the emotional damage.

After the heartbreak I came to a conclusion, it takes a person exactly the same amount of time to move on as much as it took to fall in love.

The worst part was not realizing that I was falling in love, it would've been easier to move on. I live by this rule these days: Give time some time.