My Family Thinks I'm Married But I'm Basically In A Live-In Relationship

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 9 July, 2017

Is marital status really that important? How does it matter if I am single or married? I am in a relationship with no commitments, responsibilities and togetherness. I can’t say I was used or I was betrayed because I knew from the beginning that this was in store for me. I had accepted it. But deep down, I often felt hopeful. In reality, the wait for such a perfect life is still on. I met him during my college days. He was my college senior’s friend. He was getting trained near my college. We got to know each other via text messages. We met after college hours.

Never did I realize that these little meetings would someday bound us together beyond friendship. 

I had just moved to the same city as him. He was working while I was searching for a job. My initial days were filled with entertainment and fun. We used to cook in the evening and then spend sleepless nights together, talking about anything and everything. We both knew that we were falling for each other, but neither of us had gathered the guts to confess. He was a true gentleman. I had already started dreaming about our life together. I inquired about his future plans related to our relationship and marriage. He didn’t seem shocked at all. He confessed his love for me and also talked about his dreams of spending the rest of his life with me.

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The only twist in the story was, he shared similar dreams but didn’t wish to get married ever.

I was shocked as I wondered how I would live with him forever without marriage. He was speechless. I moved out of his place as I felt this relationship was not going to work out. We were still in touch with each other. He requested to stay with him, being the weaker one in the relationship, I had decided to stay away from him. My morals betrayed me and despite knowing that we both were working towards two different goals in our relationship, I agreed to all his conditions.

This was obviously not good for a healthy relationship. He tried convincing me that love was more important than marriage. He pushed aside this topic, justifying that we must concentrate on knowing and loving each other. It was something we couldn’t stop ourselves from committing to.

According to him, marriage was just for social acceptance. I was convinced.
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We started living together like couples for the next few years. Then he moved to another city as he got transferred in his job. I was waiting for his short visits. Everything was fine till the day my family started looking for a prospective groom for me. He asked me to move on and I was not ready, as I had already accepted him as mine. I was in love with him. I wished to marry him and he was never ready for it. By then, he wasn’t even staying with me. Maybe that is why he thought that it would be easy for me to move on. I could neither leave him nor convince him. It was even tougher to take a stand for myself. We often argued over this topic. There was no conclusion.

On the other end, my family got to know about him. They wanted to know my decision, if I wanted to marry him or someone else. I felt pressurized. I felt helpless. I requested my family to give us some more time to make a decision. They finally agreed. I was going through a bad phase in my life, and I had no one to discuss it with. I lost my smile, my health, my beauty, I was looking miserable. I was not ready to forget him, and he could not see me suffer like this. Ultimately, we agreed on a mutual understanding that he will be with me without the sacred marital status.

His family will never know about me. But according to my family circle, he is my husband. So one fine day, I called my family and informed them about my marriage. They were happy for my marriage and unhappy as I hadn’t inform them before. Soon, we had a party at my place and we moved on in our life. Luckily, our family can never meet being from different places. I don’t know how come his family is not asking him about the marriage. They seem quite happy with him being single. His younger brothers are married and he is helping his parents in establishing the name of the family. 

I’m not married as my family thinks. I’m in a live-in relationship with my boyfriend.