In the bleak hours, as I watched the raindrops fall, I shivered but still did not want to leave that secluded place. Something stopped me from interacting with people. I have been analysing my past life these past couple of hours. Everyday this has been my pass time till dawn because I am sick of taking sleeping pills.

I have bruises that won't go without scars. I wasn't like this always, not at all. I was a young, beautiful and super confident girl coming from a metro city. High on energy but my dreams landed me in a relatively small town. However, that didn't deter me from enjoying my college life.

There was a lot of freedom when I left home and I became careless. I enjoyed carelessly, I trusted carelessly and I loved carelessly. With everyone falling in love around me, I guess now it was my turn.

He was an average looking guy with an average personality and that somehow made me secure about his loyalty. Months passed by and I was head over heels in love with him. He often talked about his past relationship which ended drastically after lots of abuses and physical fights. He didn't forget to mention how he slapped her several times whenever he caught her cheating on him. I was shocked to hear all this but never judged him as I was unaware about the gravity of that situation.

He assured me he wasn't like that at all and it was that girl who tortured and compelled him to do so. Love makes you blind and so I trusted every word he said. With time and love comes fight and arguments. Eventually these fights became ugly. He seldom accused me of cheating on him which was followed by lots of abuses. I was so much in love that I chose to cry over it but did not have the courage to end it. This made me more weak in the coming days. He knew it and took advantage of it.

I knew he was upto something with this girl in his batch and I wanted to confront him. However, whenever I tried doing so, he used to threaten to breakup with me and even the thought of it made me weak. Things went so out of control that whenever he blocked me after our fights, I would end up calling his friends. He had many female friends and one such was friend was Preeti. She often intervened in our fights in order to solve them. I too became friends with her.

Hell broke down when I caught him red handed. It was during my exams when he told me that he has plans to go on a trip with his guy friends to Nainital. It was a week long trip and he came back with my exams still on. My world turned upside down when I got a call from my sister only to tell me what the whole college knew from days. He was on a trip with his guy friends and Neha. They stayed in the same room and shared the same bed.

This wasn't the end of it. When I confronted him, he abused me in front of the whole college. He called me names and even went on to say that he had got me pregnant twice. I felt naked in front of hundreds of people. I cried and cried till the morning and even cried while giving the exam. Everyone had a gala time watching all this. Then outside the examination hall, I met Preeti and told her everything that had happened.

To my surprise she wasn't shocked. Life had more surprises for me. She showed me her conversation with him; what I saw made me look like a fool in front of the world. They too were in a relationship and she was his partner in crime. They together enjoyed making fun of my stupidity.

I went back home and called him. I apologized. I begged him to be with me as I saw everyone turning their back towards me; I was afraid to be alone. He obliged my request.

Days passed and I was still in shock. We talked as usual and soon started going out too. I became shameless, people made fun of my stupidity and avoided me most of the time. This made me more dependent on him.

This sunny winter morning we decided to go on a lunch date and I was super excited. I had my best clothes on. After having some great food we decided to walk to a new cafe f

Few miles away. On our way, he saw me texting someone and started abusing me and for the first time I answered back. This triggered something in him and before I could realise he slapped me so hard that my ears started bleeding. I immediately started shouting for help as he grabbed my hand. It was a highway and there were deep ditches on its side. He slapped me thrice after that and the fourth one was so hard that I fell in that ditch.

I was lying there half unconscious; he somehow managed to pull me out. I was bleeding from every possible body part, I begged him to take me to the hospital and I won't tell anyone what happened. This time he gathered all his strength and gave me one last slap on my face and ran away.

Spectators who saw everything came to me and took me to the hospital. His mother supported him and told the college authorities that I was a girl with loose character.

Till this day I am unable to sleep. I am stronger now, I don't cry anymore, hopefully I’ll become better.

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