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My Best Friend Is In A Relationship With My 6 Year Long Crush, How Could She Betray Me?

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I loved him a lot, with all my heart and soul. I fell in love with him when I was in 7th grade; he was my classmate. 

At first, it was just a silly teenage girl crush, but it gradually started turning into something more. We were classmates until the 9th grade, and till then, my feelings fully grew for him. And in 8th grade, I realised I had fallen in love. 

Siraj was his name. He was the bad boy in our class, and I was the typical shy girl. His mother and my mother were very good friends, but we were not. He was very well aware of my feelings; in fact, the whole class knew about them. But he never acknowledged it. 

It broke my heart to see him dating girls, even though he was aware of my feelings. He used to break up with me just after a few weeks, and I would be happy again. Then one day I decided to go and confess to him.

My best friend knew about my feelings for him, so she told me to indirectly tell him. That is, she will confess my feelings on my behalf.

I was a coward and have happily agreed to her. I was secretly listening to their conversation from the corner of the school corridor. When my best friend told him about my feelings, he just said, "She is not my type of girl; she's too good for my liking." It broke my heart into 1000 pieces. I could not breathe as a huge lump had formed in my throat. He just shattered my 4-year love for him in just 5 seconds. I decided to move on and keep my feelings to myself. 

From 10th grade, we were already in the 12th grade. Time passed by quickly, but my feelings for him remained unchanged no matter how much I tried to remove him from my heart; he was just stuck on it. That's when everything changed.

I got the biggest shock of my life when I saw his post with my best friend with the caption "the love of my life." 

My whole world had become upside down. I felt betrayed and cheated by my best friend. How could she do this to me knowing I had feelings for that boy for six whole years? I could not gather the broken pieces of my heart; I would cry every night imagining them together. I was just hoping they would break up. My relationship with my best friend changed gradually, and we became total strangers, and I was just fine with it after what she had done. 

I knew Siraj broke up with his past girlfriends in just 2 weeks max, and I was very confident this time also. But we should always expect the unexpected. He would post loving pictures of her almost every day on Instagram with captions like "Mrs. Siraj,” "my jaan," and "future wife." 

I would look at those posts and cry my heart out. He did not break up; in fact, I felt they would get married. We passed out of school and went different ways. That's when I got the news from Instagram that they were going to the same college. That's when all my hopes of being with him were crushed. 

I would comment on his posts saying "how cute" and "such a lovely couple" even though I meant the opposite, and he would reply back with a small "thank you."

I knew he would never be mine, and he had already planned on marrying my "best friend." I had decided to let him go and completely forget him. 

Already, one year has passed, and I have finally started to move on from this one-sided love.

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