It Is A Complicated Relationship But My Parents Made Things Really Ugly

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 5 July, 2017

I thought I had a lovely, well-educated family until the day my perceptions changed. I am 24 years old and an introvert. I actually don’t talk about myself with anyone, not even to my parents, because they are always busy.

They gave me everything in life, gave me good education, but they were not my friends, they could never know me, and never realized, what I tried to say, except what they wanted to see.

The fact is that I have a world of my own, where I am all by myself. I have my likes and dislikes, tastes, and opinions but I always compromised my wants and needs for my parents’ wishes.
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I met this guy two years ago and since then I have a company in my world. He broke the whole Taj Mahal I had built around me. He knows me exactly the way I am, the crazy me; the shy me. He is 25 and a teacher by profession, and the students are crazy about him. He never forced me to take a decision, it was all my choice. He always told me, "If someone tells something, I should be able to say with confidence that she will not do it, we should be that honest to each other."

We are a bit complicated. We are some sort of relatives and the relation is not acceptable for marriage in the society. So the problem started when I told my parents about him. They were angry, frustrated, and offensive. They have their expectations about me because I have a better education than his and they wanted me to abide by them. I know how it feels but I am strongly against arranged marriages because I could never understand how someone could toss a coin and find a life partner.

We both were okay with what and how it was going because we knew this would come up like this, but it turned ugly when my parents went to his house and abused him. They told him that he’s a flirt and is responsible for the way I talk and behave towards my parents. They blamed him for trapping my senses and using me against my parents.

My parents, one being a teacher and another, an engineer, insulted a person by creating stories about him with a girl. I never dreamt that they could behave so low. They were never present for me when I wanted them. I had a lonely childhood, they never knew my likes or dislikes, my wants, and wishes or how I spend my time or days. And they are saying that I have changed because of him. The fact is that they don’t even know me that well and who are my friends.

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I am the same girl whom they saw for the past 24 years, but the difference is that I started expressing my thoughts. I started responding to situations and voicing my opinion against things which I can’t tolerate anymore. How could they think that I have changed when they never tried to understand me all these years?

I know that they may get hurt, but there is a thing called 'politeness'. They could have talked to us directly and not behind us.

Author's Note:

I wish other parents are not like this, only driven by ego and status. All my friends, even our maid knows me very well, but my parents failed to understand because they were always busy, and never spent time with me. Now when it’s time for marriage, they are looking for the best groom, but the irony is that they don’t know anything about the bride.

Editor's Note:

Share the story because all parents must know and realize, how essential it is to make your children feel your presence during their growing up years. No matter how busy a parent is and serious about the future of the kids, but your presence matters and makes a difference in their life.