If There’s A Next Birth, I Hope The Universe Brings Together Forever

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 13 August, 2018

To my saying, I consider myself to be a brave girl. However, confessing my feelings to you, I don’t think I have the courage to do that. Fear of rejection? No, not that. I know we will not work out with me moving away and you graduating soon. I am pretty sure you don’t feel the same way as I do too.

So, what is it that I fear? Fear that things might get awkward or that our friendship might be ruined.

Writing how I feel here might be a way for me to express how I feel without ruining anything. I love you. I know I will always love you even if we never end up together. I don’t remember when I fell in love with you. Probably, the first time I saw you when we were put together in the group project. You annoyed me really quickly with your playful banters.

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Then, you smiled. Oh, my lord, your beautiful dimples melted my heart.

The more I got to know you, the deeper and more intense my feelings became. I thought we would have more time together before we go our separate ways. Maybe something more will develop in that time. However, I have two weeks and I know nothing is going to happen, nothing will ever happen. It breaks my heart a little. The moments we spent together have made me a better person. You made me want to be better.

I learned to love myself, to put myself as a priority, to chase my goals, to dream big, to work on myself. I think you helped me to be more mature.

I am eternally grateful for that. My previous relationships were toxic. Just as I was about to lose hope, you came along, showing me there are still good guys out there. You showed me what kind of guy I deserve. If you were right in front of me, and I had the courage to say exactly what I felt, then this is what I would say without holding back, “I love you. I love you so much! I want to be yours and I want you to be mine. I want to hold and be held. To be buried in cuddles. I want you to tell me your stories, I want to tell you all my stories. I want to play video games with you. I want you to read me a book. I want to discuss random things with you. I want to feel your lips. Your kisses and hugs. You feel like home. I feel safe and calm when I am with you. I want to meet your family, be a part of them. I know you would love my family too. They would love you as much as they love me. I want to be married to you. I want us to have adorable babies. I want us to go on vacations. I want us to argue and then makeup. I know we would have so much trust in one another and we would not do anything to hurt the other person. I want to grow old with you. I want to love you until my last breath.”

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As the saying goes, “You need two things for love – chemistry and timing.”

We have chemistry, but timing is a bitch. I love you, but I love myself more. I know I have to let you go. You are my ‘the one who got away.’ If there is a next birth, I hope the universe brings us back and let us stay together. In this lifetime, I truly hope you find someone you love, and I hope they love you very much. I wish you every happiness life offers. I will always love you!

 xxx

Editor's Note:

Now that's some positivity in the air. These emotions are a rollercoaster yet one enjoyable ride. Share this story and spread more love around.