I Was Too Stubborn To Accept His Apology But I Suddenly Discovered My Own Feelings

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 24 January, 2018

I clearly remember that I was a bubbly, naughty tomboyish girl when I was 14 years old. I would hang my bag around my shoulders and march confidently down our street without any fear or tension. I would then stand at the end of the lane and tease all the other girls who were waiting for the bus. I loved all the attention that I was getting.

I was a person who had the least responsibilities. I was pampered and loved by my parents because I was their only child. Then it was time for us to shift from our grand father’s home. Everything was new – the people, home, surroundings etc.

I think the best things happen when you least expect them.

I did not like all the changes that were taking place in my life. I did not want to move to our new house. I would keep telling my parents that I wanted to go back to our old house.

But I was unaware of what was in store for me. I saw him for the first time one afternoon. He was waiting for his friends and I had opened the door at the same time because I had some work to do. I still remember his reaction.

He had sparkling eyes and he looked as if he was completely lost when he saw me. I knew he was admiring me. It was a very beautiful feeling.

I have encountered many incidents in my life where I was appreciated for my looks. But I had never felt this kind of warmth before. He was a very focused, ambitious and loving person. He had great looks.

I knew that meeting him was the best thing that happened in my life.

From that day onwards, I never missed a chance of seeing him. I think he too always waited for me because he seemed to know my school bus timings. I would see him standing near the bus stop and waiting for me even when it was raining heavily. Days passed in this manner. We never spoke a word to each other. We just kept smiling. And that is how it all started - with cute smiles.

One day I mustered the courage and spoke to him. My hands were shivering and my heart was pounding away at a very fast pace. I was sure all the people around me could hear it thudding loudly against my chest. But he too was experiencing the same thing. I could see that he too was doing his best to overcome his hesitation and talk to me. I noticed that he was shivering too.

But we managed to speak to each other and I still think that this was the best day of my life.  I fell for him and he too felt the same way about me. We started talking to each other.

After a while, I was busy preparing for my board exams and did not notice that he was still waiting to get just a glimpse of me. I still remember the day my results were declared. I had passed with flying colours but he was happier about it than me.

He was singing and dancing happily and those moments are imprinted in my heart even today.

Soon I joined my 11th standard. I could not spend much time with him but he understood. He too knew that I was keen on becoming a doctor.

But I realized that leading a life without any ups and downs is not really worth it. You need to go through these experiences to know more about yourself. Life is indeed like a roller coaster ride for all of us.

One day, I was suffering from a bad cold so I could not see him. But he misunderstood me and thought I was ignoring him. He was angry and upset with me. Things worsened between us and I decided to break off all contact with him.

I promised myself that I would never speak to him again. He was sorry about what he had said and done to me but I was adamant about my stance of not talking with him anymore. I did not speak to him for almost a year.

On the day I wrote my last 12th standard board exam, he was standing in front of his door and telling someone that he was leaving for Australia on 23rd March to do his masters there. I knew he wanted me to hear what he was saying. I felt as if someone had just snatched away my breath from me. He was becoming emotional and was very sorry for what had happened between us earlier.

But instead of forgiving him, I behaved like a stupid person and stuck to the promise I had made to myself.

He kept pleading with me. He called all my friends and sent messages to me through them. But I did not want to speak to him at all. On 23rd March, my soul was shouting at me and begging me to stop him. I knew he would depart shortly but my ego did not listen to my soul. Tears were rolling down my cheeks when he left and he too stood in front of me with wet eyes.

His eyes were sparkling with love for me. He mustered the courage to wave at me and went off without letting me tell him anything.

I sent him just one message before his flight took off. I said, “I LOVE YOU!” After that, I tried to behave normally. But my mom sensed that something was wrong with me. I had changed overnight. I was no longer the naughty bubbly person that I had been earlier.

I had started missing him.

My mom said, “Betu, if he loves you he will come back and I promise you that you will be a part of his life.”

That consoled me to the core. I knew I had a beautiful mother who supported me at all times.

I messaged him again. He saw my messages after 24 days but he was disturbed, angry and upset initially. But things became normal between us after a while. We started understanding each other well now. Our parents were convinced that we would make a perfect match.

Author's Note:

After experiencing all these ups and downs in my life, I realized that if you love someone to the core and pray for the relationship with your whole heart – you will get what you want.

Editor's Note:

Share this story if you too believe that in the tug of war between our ego and our soul - the soul should always win.