I Was Shy To Tell Her How I Felt And Now It's Too Late

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 28 August, 2017

I've known her for 7 years now. But we got close only last year after meeting at an event. Before that we would just frequently text each other. But after we met, we became really close and before I could realize it, I had fallen for her.

She was nowhere close to the person I'd imagined to fall in love with but she stole my heart.

She was cute, adorable and childish but at the same time she was very mature when it came to serious decisions. In my eyes, she was a perfectionist. We were getting close though I wasn’t sure about what she had in her mind. Probably that's why I never told her how I felt.

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As time passed, we met again for a birthday celebration. She had a lot of friends whom I’d never met before. Being the shy and timid guy, I didn't talk to anyone because being present there was a task in itself and I was struggling. But I wanted her to be happy and that's why I'd gone there.

That was the day when everything fell apart. I knew that I wasn't acting normally with her friends but that is how I am and I can’t change that. Probably all her friends hated me and slowly things started changing.

I was slipping into depression but she was holding up well as her friends were around her. Soon she met another guy and they became close. I knew that I was being replaced.

What could be worse than being replaced by the one you love the most in this whole world.
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With every passing day, our texts reduced. I was dying from within while she was perfectly fine. One fine day, I gathered all my courage to tell her how much I loved her. But I was broken into bits.

I knew she had fallen for someone, though she didn't tell me directly. She sent me a message saying that she had found her "special someone". That day, I cried alone in my room.

It wasn’t the first time that I’d cried because of her, but it was certainly the most painful and unbearable one.

We had promised to be BFFs and to never let each other go even if someone dear came into our lives. But I guess she didn’t remember our promises. I knew that it was time for me to try and move on. And I did try, but have not succeeded. I still love her and I always will, because I truly loved her. As time goes by, I'm getting accustomed to the pain and I know that one fine day my wounded heart may heal.

It'll leave a scar behind but I'll heal and when I do, I just hope that she isn't around anymore because if she is, I know that in a heartbeat, I would fall for her all over again.

I have deleted her number and unfriended her on Facebook. Now, I'm waiting for the day my heart gives me a sign that it's time to move on or the day she realizes that she loves me; if she ever does.