I Was Full Of Life Till A Guy Entered My Life And Broke My Spirit

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 30 June, 2017

I was a young, wild and free girl. The world was at my feet. I laughed too much and I danced too much. I lived life to the fullest.

I remember my granny used to say, "Don't laugh too loudly, people ruin innocent happiness".

I thought why would anyone do that to me because I prayed for everyone's happiness? I used to wonder what it feels like to fall in love. The concept of love was enigmatic to me, that passion, that pain, that excitement. One day I was out with my family friends and a guy called out my name and asked me if I was Shruti. He pleaded me to let him talk to me about something. He told me how he felt about me and said that he'd loved me for the past four years and always wanted to talk to me. For some lame reason, I took his contact number and called him the very next day. And that's how we became friends.

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He turned out to be a nice person and he really loved me, or so I thought. I never focused on his looks because in comparison to me, his physical appearance, financial standards and education were nothing. What I cared about the most was a beautiful soul.

First two years of the relationship were fun and lovely. Then I got a chance to be a part of a reality show. That was the first time, his real side came out.

I'd never thought that a human being could ever say 'I love you' to me and then break my spirit. He abused me for following my dreams because he was insecure. He called me a bi*** and a s***. I didn't say a word. He threatened me that he would expose our relationship and bring shame to my family. I broke up with him that day.

But of course he was a narcissist, he came back and manipulated me emotionally. I wasn't smart enough to see that he didn't deserve it. I gave my heart, my soul, my mind to this relationship. But the abuse started increasing.

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"Don't use Facebook."

"Don't talk to male friends, classmates or colleagues."

"Don't go out with those female friends without telling me."

Eventually, he started coercing for complete submission, forced me for sex. He was a scumbag of a man, he pushed me to go down on him even after my utter denial. His presence, his company suffocated me. I thought about leaving him for good but he kept manipulating me. He said he couldn't live without me and on the other hand, he broke me.

I became someone without any life in her eyes. I was frustrated, shattered and in pain. That's how 4 and a half years passed. I almost lost all hoped that would ever get out of his grip.
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And then God heard my prayers and sent his angel to guide me. That angel is my best friend who showed me my worth and gave me courage to stand up to that worthless man. And then the actual tantrums began. He blackmailed me, threatened me, stalked me, got my call details out, tortured me for 6 months.

It's been three years since the breakup. He still hasn't admitted that he was wrong. He still calls and texts me and wants me back in his life. When I point out his mistakes to him, he starts accusing me of cheating. Even after suffering for almost five years, and taking medications for depression, he has the audacity to call me wrong.

Today I'm happy and filled with positive energy. All I want for him is to feel the guilt. I want him to feel the same pain. I want him to feel the emptiness that I felt. I want him to live his whole life knowing that he will never be forgiven for destroying a soul who actually cared about him and to live a life devoid of love.

I wish I could wish him well but I can't. There are some damages that change you forever. I can never wish him well.