I Want To See Her Again, But She Doesn't Even Exist In My World

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 19 December, 2017

We expect life to happen in a way, and it turns out entirely the other way around. I was a simple, shy boy in my own world, and suddenly, a girl came knocking into my heart.

I first met her on Clash of the Clans and I believed she was a boy. I was so impressed with the way she treated the junior players that I promoted her and said "Well done, bro". When she told me that she wasn't a boy, it was like a 440-volt current going through me.

I was so impressed by her! We started talking over WeChat and our friendship turned into a relationship. How that happened, was the sweetest journey of my life.

Advertisement

Every day, I waited so I could talk to her. I was in the second-year of my college and she was in class 12. One day, I proposed to her, but she took a week to respond. She finally listened to her heart and said 'yes'.

We talked about our present and dreamt up a fairy-tale future for ourselves. We even planned out our babies' names. My day would begin and end with the sound of her voice, and that alone. She was the girl I had always dreamt of. She was perfect and she was mine.

We spent two years like this. And like time, even we have changed. But she has changed in a way that I can't recognize her anymore. She doesn't pick up my calls or even respond to me for over 12 hours. I never ask her to explain herself, I never ask her why. If I do, I know I will hurt her and drive her away from me. And I have no idea what I would do in a world without her by my side.

One day, I called my baby and asked her what was wrong. And to that, she told me that she had lost interest in me. And no, it's not because of the long-distance relationship. Apparently, it's because I'm too short for her!
Advertisement

Her friends made fun of her because she's 5'4" and I'm only 5'2". I was too shocked to say anything, and it dawned on me that she was breaking up. Her last words to me were, "Don't ever call me back again, you c****ya!"

This girl! This girl meant the whole world to me. She left me and now there's no colour in my life. I have no appetite, and I've stopped in a garden with no flowers to smell. But I didn't lose hope. I called her again.

But this time, it was really the last time I heard her voice. And after 2 years of epic love, I hear "I'm blocking you! Now, do you f**king understand?"

I want to cry but the tears don't come out. I want to see her, but she doesn't even exist in my world. I can't find her on Facebook or Instagram. She's nowhere now.

Why does love make people cry? Why are men always wrong to seek it? I don't know the answer, but I know that boys have a heart, and it hurts. And all that I feel right now, I cannot even show the world.
Advertisement

I don't want to blame her because I love her with every breath I take. I just want to tell her one thing.

"Babu, I was still standing there, waiting for you to turn around, telling myself that you will come back. But you didn't, because my height really does bother you doesn't it?I don't know if I can find it in my heart to love again. But in loving you, I will always stand tall. Despite all the difficult words you've made me hear, I love you."
Editor's Note:

Share this story because it's heartbreaking that we lead our girls to believe in the same toxic masculinity that cripples all of us.