I Spent 4 Years With Him And I Don’t Know How To Tell Him This

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 22 August, 2017

My story is not very different. It is like the story that most people have these days. I am writing this because I want to know what I should do. I want a few suggestions on my current situation.  

I was in a relationship for around 4 years. It started when I was in college. My boyfriend was just the opposite of what I am. I fell for him because I liked his innocence and simplicity. We had a very nice love life. He really loved and cared for me.

But things started going in the wrong direction when I got a job in another city. He was still preparing for his entrance exams as he wanted to get a government job. So we now were in a long distance relationship.


Somehow, I felt it was as if he was fighting with me most of the time. It was as if I was not able to give him enough of my time. I was busy with my job and could not spend time with him on calls. Also, he didn’t like my extrovert nature. I was making new friends in this city and some of them were boys. When I told him about my friends, he would say things like, “You are talking to boys!” I would explain things to him and tell him that, “It’s not like that. They are just my friends.”

But I realized that he had always been over possessive even when we were in college. He never liked it if I talked to any boy. But now, here in this new city, I wondered how he wanted me to live without talking to anybody. That was what I was trying to make him understand.

But he never understood what I was trying to say and we ended up fighting a lot. I left my job after a year and came back home because I wanted to get a government job now. But he still does not realize my frustration of not getting a job. So, I decided to break up with him. But he always cries when I say this, so I don’t know what to do.

In the meantime, I met a boy online. We just started talking. He started liking me and one day he proposed to me. I also liked him but I hesitated for sometime because I already had a boyfriend. But I didn’t love him anymore. So I told my American friend, “Yes, I do like you!” He loves me a lot. It’s almost 3 months now and he is coming to meet me here at my place. I am eager to meet him too. But the only question I have now is about my boyfriend.

I consider him to be my ex-boyfriend but he doesn’t think of me as his ex-girlfriend.
Author's Note:

I know if I tell my ex-boyfriend that I have another boyfriend, he will either commit suicide or kill me or always blame me if he doesn’t get a job. I just don’t know how to tackle this situation. Should I meet this American guy or continue with my ex-friend? Please tell me.

Editor's Note:

Share this story because all this girl needs is a sounding board right now. Love and intuition will surely guide her as she works her way out of her confusion and frustration.