I Never Moved On From My First Love, Now I Don’t Know How To Love Again

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 31 March, 2018

I waited for a long time to fall in love and meet the perfect man. And finally, I found him. He was ‘The Bengali guy.’

We met, we fought, we became friends, and we fell in love.

It was a perfect love story, but of ‘A Muslim girl and a Bengali guy.’

Advertisement

I loved him more than my life. I dreamt of marrying him and helped him fulfil his dreams more than mine.

It’s absurd how a person in love become so selfless that our own life becomes small in front of them.

We decided to talk to our parents about marriage. And as expected, they refused. We both belonged to the conservative family.

In India, love is discriminated based on caste and religion, not by humanity. I had to choose between him and my parents.
Advertisement

I had no other option than to give up on both. Neither could I marry some other man nor could I hurt my parents.

Life was lonely and depressing as I lost him and my parents too. That's when he came to my rescue - ‘The Bihari guy.’

I never thought he would become a family to me. He made me stand when I fell from agony. He made me smile when I was scared enough to laugh. His parents liked me and treated me like a daughter. Everything was perfect with him but he wasn't my first love. He loved me the way I loved my Bengali guy, selflessly.

I couldn't marry him too because I couldn't be selfish. I didn’t want to hurt my parents and truth be told, I never moved on from my first love.

I wondered, is it better to love or be loved? How can I ever move on? I can never marry any other guy nor can I ever fall in love. I am not the type of girl who will marry any guy for parent’s happiness. I want to marry a person with whom I want to spend my life with and not with some stranger, whom my parents have chosen for me.

Advertisement

True love happens only once in a lifetime. There is no moving on from it. You will meet many people further, who will love you and support you. Those people are the angels in your life trying to lift you up.

I gave up on the situation, not on love.

That's when I decided to wait.  

Would you move on? How many people are there, who can give up on their life just to be with that one person?

Editor's Note:

Can love happen twice? Share this story and let's do 'chai pe charcha.'