I Meant The World To Him Before He Confessed He Was Out Of It, Now I'm Only Living For My Mother

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 13 July, 2017

It was 2nd October, 2014. It was my birthday. I was at my home when I got a call and I disconnected it. I received a message later. It read, "I am here near your home". I called him again and asked him, "Where are you? Don't try to play with me." I couldn't believe he was there to see me. He came from far away, just to meet me. But I was not impressed. Instead I got frustrated. I was worried about what would people think if they saw me with a guy?

He had gifted me a ring and a photo frame with a picture of me and my mother together. Every word he said to me made me feel special. I fell for him and confessed my love.

I felt heavenly. He admired me; cared for me and loved me unconditionally. Each and every second of my life was filled with happiness by him.

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My heaven started to fade. We were both looking for jobs. He got placed in a good company but I did not get a job. I was attending all campus recruitments and was left feeling hopeless. He was busy every time I called him.

My life was filled with loneliness, frustration, tears and darkness. I found it so hard to fall asleep. I was feeling angry at everything about him. I had started talking very rudely. He reciprocated in the same manner. But I hadn’t expected such behaviour from him. I somehow couldn’t accept it.

Once upon a time, I meant the world to him. He then confessed that his love for me was decreasing day by day. He stated that the reason was my impolite behaviour. I could do nothing but cry vulnerably.

I want to move on. I don’t know why I’m still clinging on to him? Sometimes I want to keep myself engaged in order to forget him. The other times I try to love him just like I used to back then. I have a faint hope of getting him back. But negativity kills that hope. I want to go home and tell everything to my mother. I want to lie in her lap and hope to live. Instead of attempting suicide she had lived for me. Now I am living for her. I have realised that there is no other love like that of a mother’s towards her child. Her smile is the reason for my happiness.

I have fought with her, I have ignored her and I have enraged her. But she has never said that her love for me was decreasing. Her love is constant and eternal. I really love my mom. I'll keep her happy forever.