I Loved Her Because She Loved Her Parents. But Her Parents Did Not Love Me At All.

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 29 April, 2018

We were in love - hopelessly in love. We both met in college. When I first saw her I knew she was the girl I had always dreamt of.

She matched all my expectations perfectly. I wanted a girl who resembled my mother (just like all the other guys). She was a picture perfect portrait of all the qualities that I was looking for in a girl – humble, smiling and down to earth.

I knew that with the kind of beauty that she possessed she could have easily been a show off of the first order. Despite her humility, people craved to just talk to her.

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I managed to get her contact details from one of my friends. I started chatting with her. Initially, she refused to share her number with me because I was just an acquaintance. (I fell for her again when she did this.) So we would get together for a Yahoo chat. We would talk to each other frequently and I did my best to prove my genuine interest in her. I wanted to get her number and eventually she did give it to me. Yay! I felt I had achieved something great.

I gathered all my courage and told her what I had in mind. She refused to accept my proposal but she did not want to let go of me too.

She wanted me to be her friend. I accepted this offer because I wanted to continue talking to her despite the hurdles that I was facing.

Our friendship grew deeper and I would keep telling her that I loved her quite often.

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She would say that she hadn’t loved anyone and won’t love anyone too because her parents were quite strict.

She knew that they would not accept a person she loved. We spent our time chatting with each other. She knew that our bond was growing stronger with time.

She did not want to leave me or her parents too.

I had to wait for three long years for her to accept my proposal. I had proposed to her for the first time when I was in my first year and she agreed to it only during the final year of our college.

We kept talking to each other and liked each other all the more with each passing day.
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I was on cloud nine. I went and told all my friends about us and they were all happy for me because they knew I had been waiting for her. Things progressed smoothly. Both of us were placed in Chennai itself.

Since I had already started working, I told my parents about my love for her. I wanted them to know that I was serious about my love for her. She took a long time to tell her parents about me but she did tell them too.

Both of us belonged to different castes. So we did face a few problems initially. But we convinced our parents to talk to each other. The initial conversation between them was not too good.

My mom did not accept our relationship because our caste was posing a problem. My father had no problems though. Her parents reluctantly agreed to get us married but wanted us to get married immediately.

I was 23 at that time. I was in no position to get married to her because I knew I would have to meet all our expenses after that. The problem was that she was 23 too and in their caste, it was the prime time for girls to get married.

Both of us worked on the same campus so we would meet often and set things right between us. We were clear about what we needed. I was preparing for my CAT exams and needed time to clear the exam. I wanted to discuss things regarding our marriage with my parents after that.

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But her parents took this as an opportunity to start blackmailing her.

They told her that my parents were not willing to accept her and started looking out for an alliance for her. Since both of us were in touch with each other, she knew my situation. She gave me time till I completed my exams. I did write the exams but failed miserably.  I was not able to concentrate because I kept thinking about what was going to happen to us next. I feared that I would lose her.

Things started worsening. So I took her to my dad. I wanted her to feel confident that my parents too were serious about getting her married to me.

She felt relieved after talking to my dad. So I felt confident too and felt that things were going to be fine for us.

One fine day her mom called me and asked me not to talk to her anymore. She said that an alliance had come through one of their relatives. These relatives had not been in touch with their family for a long time because there had been some kind of misunderstanding between them. They saw this alliance as an opportunity to bring their families together again. She was aware of all that was happening in her family. I was confident that she would reject the proposal by giving them some reason or the other.

But to my astonishment, she told me that if the guy was okay she will proceed with the proposal. She said she will not be able to reject it because she was being pressurized by her family.
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All the love, the trust and the respect that I had for her - had given me the strength to wait for her for three long years. I had waited to just get a “Yes” from her.

But everything went to pieces with that one statement of hers.

I knew I was on the verge of losing her. I convinced my mom (maybe I was a little too late in doing this) to tell her that she too accepted our love. But in vain.

We parted ways by agreeing to it mutually. I knew I was not going to play a major role in her life anymore because she already had someone else to take care of her from now on.

But I was shattered by the fact that she had accepted someone else in her life other than me. It has been 4 years now. She is married and has a kid. I have moved out of that relationship but somewhere deep in my mind, I still think of her at times. I often get to hear that she inquires about me through her friends.

But I have no connection at all with her well being. I stopped trusting girls and am afraid of falling into the so-called magical trap of love again.

I was happy that we enjoyed our life as long as we were together. I kept up my promise of keeping her happy as long as she was with me. I thought that our relationship would last a lifetime but it lasted just 3 years.

It’s her life. She has the right to take her own decisions for such crucial aspects of her life.

But I have just one question for her. Why didn't she reject that proposal? Why did she not stand firmly by me? Well, I guess even I know the answer to that question. I loved her for this very reason.

She loved and respected her parents.

Love is pain. Yes! But it also leaves us with an irremovable stain.

Editor's Note:

‘Time’ has a funny way of changing the dynamics of our relationships. If we live in the present moment – life is full of love and love is life. But when we carry that love to our future – we face hurdles. Maybe we need to learn the lessons that ‘time’ and ‘life’ are teaching us. Let not one past experience ruin our present and future. Let’s share this story because we all need to live our lives to the fullest at all times.