I Have No Money, No Friends Or A Family To Go Back To. Finally, Love Means Nothing.

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 31 March, 2018

I am a regular girl. I belong to a middle-class joint family. I have an elder brother. We all depend on our dad's income.

Even as a child I could sense that I was treated differently because I was a girl.

My brother got everything he asked for – a bicycle, a bike, a shop and even a car – whenever he asked for such things. He was not very good at his studies. He was always admired and respected.

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I was never given the freedom to go out with my friends just because I was a girl. We could afford to buy good clothes. But I always had only 5 T-shirts and 2/3 pairs of jeans to wear to college. I did not even own something as simple as kajal or face cream. I was never given the freedom to apply make-up on my face.

I always felt under-confident because I was exposed to this kind of atmosphere at home. So I started looking for love outside my home.

I fell in love for the first time when I was in the 7th standard. Initially, I was happy because I now had someone who admired me and loved me. Slowly I started feeling that I would spend the rest of my life with him. But he ditched me on several occasions. I felt sad when I came to know about it, but I trusted him because I loved him.

When my family got to know about it - all hell broke loose.
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My parents beat me up very severely. I was not allowed to continue with my college. I was in the 12th standard when this happened. I didn’t want to lose the love of my life. I wanted to continue with my studies too. And when they forced me to discontinue my studies, I drank some poison. I was admitted to the hospital and was brought home to recover after a few days. My mom then supported me and saw to it that I started going to college again.

I had no kind of liberty at home now.

I would look at other college girls and think that they were indeed more fortunate than me in many ways. I wondered why I did not have this kind of freedom in my life.

I started meeting the boy I loved again when I was going to finish college.

I told him to send his parents to my place and ask them for my hand in marriage. But he said that he had a younger sister, and he would think of getting married to me only after she got married. I was shocked.

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I was fighting with everyone because I believed in his love. But he coolly told me that he could not marry me now.  

So, I started looking out for a job. By the grace of God, I found a job within a couple of days. But then he said that his family might have problems if took up a job. So I decided to pursue my higher studies and enrolled myself in a course. I kept asking him to consider getting married to me. But he kept avoiding the topic.

My friends then made me realize that he was not the right guy for me. I was shattered when I realized that they were telling the truth.

But I consoled myself and decided to move on with my life now. I told my parents that they could go ahead and find a suitable person for me. I told them that I was ready to get married to the person they selected for me. They did start looking out for appropriate guys for me.

But I fell in love with someone again. Life seemed like a real fairy tale now.

We had a great time together. I never knew that life could be so colourful too. I got carried away by the lovely time we had together. But when I asked him to introduce me to his family, he started hesitating. I managed to convince him. I finally met his mom, and she was willing to accept me as her daughter-in-law.

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I was really very happy because I believed that I was getting married into a good family. But they showed their true colours only after we got married.

I was jobless and did not have any money with me. Even if I separated from my husband, I could not go back to my family because I had gone against them to get married to my husband. I am still struggling to find a good job. I know we can lead a better life only if I find a job.

I finally realized that love means everything only if you have money, a family to go back to and good friends around you. Otherwise love really means nothing. At all.
Editor's Note:

There is definitely a whole lot more to life than love. ‘Love’ may well put us on cloud 9 but maybe when we get around to dealing with mundane things like ‘roti kapda makaan’ we will realize the ‘true’ worth and the ‘true’ meaning of ‘love’. Let’s learn not to get carried away by our love. Let ‘love’ not blind us to the reality. Let’s share this story and learn to appreciate the love of our families and friends too.