I am a regular girl. I belong to a middle-class joint family. I have an elder brother. We all depend on our dad's income.
Even as a child I could sense that I was treated differently because I was a girl.
My brother got everything he asked for – a bicycle, a bike, a shop and even a car – whenever he asked for such things. He was not very good at his studies. He was always admired and respected.
I was never given the freedom to go out with my friends just because I was a girl. We could afford to buy good clothes. But I always had only 5 T-shirts and 2/3 pairs of jeans to wear to college. I did not even own something as simple as kajal or face cream. I was never given the freedom to apply make-up on my face.
I always felt under-confident because I was exposed to this kind of atmosphere at home. So I started looking for love outside my home.
I fell in love for the first time when I was in the 7th standard. Initially, I was happy because I now had someone who admired me and loved me. Slowly I started feeling that I would spend the rest of my life with him. But he ditched me on several occasions. I felt sad when I came to know about it, but I trusted him because I loved him.
When my family got to know about it - all hell broke loose.
My parents beat me up very severely. I was not allowed to continue with my college. I was in the 12th standard when this happened. I didn’t want to lose the love of my life. I wanted to continue with my studies too. And when they forced me to discontinue my studies, I drank some poison. I was admitted to the hospital and was brought home to recover after a few days. My mom then supported me and saw to it that I started going to college again.
I had no kind of liberty at home now.
I would look at other college girls and think that they were indeed more fortunate than me in many ways. I wondered why I did not have this kind of freedom in my life.
I started meeting the boy I loved again when I was going to finish college.
I told him to send his parents to my place and ask them for my hand in marriage. But he said that he had a younger sister, and he would think of getting married to me only after she got married. I was shocked.
I was fighting with everyone because I believed in his love. But he coolly told me that he could not marry me now.
So, I started looking out for a job. By the grace of God, I found a job within a couple of days. But then he said that his family might have problems if took up a job. So I decided to pursue my higher studies and enrolled myself in a course. I kept asking him to consider getting married to me. But he kept avoiding the topic.
My friends then made me realize that he was not the right guy for me. I was shattered when I realized that they were telling the truth.
But I consoled myself and decided to move on with my life now. I told my parents that they could go ahead and find a suitable person for me. I told them that I was ready to get married to the person they selected for me. They did start looking out for appropriate guys for me.
But I fell in love with someone again. Life seemed like a real fairy tale now.
We had a great time together. I never knew that life could be so colourful too. I got carried away by the lovely time we had together. But when I asked him to introduce me to his family, he started hesitating. I managed to convince him. I finally met his mom, and she was willing to accept me as her daughter-in-law.
I was really very happy because I believed that I was getting married into a good family. But they showed their true colours only after we got married.
I was jobless and did not have any money with me. Even if I separated from my husband, I could not go back to my family because I had gone against them to get married to my husband. I am still struggling to find a good job. I know we can lead a better life only if I find a job.
I finally realized that love means everything only if you have money, a family to go back to and good friends around you. Otherwise love really means nothing. At all.