It was November in the year 2014, second year of my graduation I met a guy (Abhi). I met him through a common friend, Shreya. We became good friends and started texting each other on a regular basis, he got to know so many things about me.

I was a victim of child sexual abuse and then got into an exploitative relationship a year before I met him, so he knew I was very uncomfortable with being touched.

11th October 2015 we got into a relationship. I told him I loved him but I didn't want to be in a relationship,which was the reason for our frequent quarrels in the beginning. We had shared everything with each other about our past. He told me he had a girlfriend but it had been two years since he had been single. He treated me in the best way possible, he never forced me to do anything. It was always me who initiated the hugs and kisses. He always made sure that I was comfortable with him.

I somehow became emotionally dependent on him as he used to say that if someone ever did anything to hurt me, I should come straight away to him. I used to share everything with him but something was strange, he never had anything to say other than "I went to the gym". I used to tell one of my close friends Priya that I was sure he was hiding something from me.

11th December 2015 I got to know that he was in a relationship since a month before we got into a relationship, that was something really shocking. We were best friends, he never told me about this. I didn't talk to him for days and he never said sorry for that but came up with excuses. Then one day I messaged him saying things I never wanted to.

When my anger was over, I realized what I had done and then messaged him with an apology. I used to call him everyday and forget what he did. 20th Feb 2016 was my birthday. He came with a bouquet of roses. I still remember that warm hug, everything was back to normal but something was not. I was too insecure by then and he stopped giving me much importance. If I was looking good and all dressed up, gave me attention, otherwise not.

21st May 2016 I shifted to Delhi and I know that this would be the end. I met him on the 17th May 2016. I don't know the reason, I was not feeling good. Something was strange in our relationship. I used to write for him, sing for him and purchase presents that I had never done for anyone but I never saw those efforts for his side anymore.

26th Jan 2017 I was in my hometown for 3 months and we met again as I'm a firm believer of going with your instincts. I knew there was something, I couldn't have left someone like this. 8 months in Delhi and not even a single day I didn't think about him. I didn't even look at other guys.

We got into a relationship again, I wanted to know the reason behind what went wrong between us. I had started believing I was wrong .

He was still there for me I thought but then I got to know that in these 8 months, he had got another girl. I asked him and he said, "If you love me, you should fight with me to not be with that girl." I was shocked. I didn't even think of dating anyone and he had forgotten all about us to date another girl. He came to my place and everything was back to normal.

We fought one day and the next day he gave me his Facebook id and password. I never asked for it, I was thinking if I should open it. After 2 days I opened his id, it was strange. There were no chats with any girl, all chats were of boys. It seemed like he had deleted everything.

Only one one chat was left behind, what I saw next shattered me completely. Some days before getting into a relationship with me in 2015 he had messaged that girl, "I want to meet you at your friend's flat, 1st Jan I want to meet you alone." And on 13th Jan 2016 he said. "Bikini mein pictures bhej sakti hai Facebook ka password nahi de sakti."

I couldn't stop crying for a week. I never trusted anyone before that. He made me trust him, it seems like he had filled all my wounds to stab me harder. Now I see every man with just suspicion.

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