I Found Him On A Matrimonial Site And Fell In Love, Now He's Gone

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 21 September, 2017

At times we come across people who are perfect strangers initially but later on become a vital part of our lives.

In the month of January, 2017 I saw his request in my filtered list on a popular matrimonial site. As I was getting late for the gym, I hurriedly went through his profile. I had never believed in the concept of matrimonial sites.

He had mentioned on his profile that he wanted a wife who is more like a friend. This line made me want to have a conversation with him and so I accepted his request. After returning from the gym I saw his message on whatsApp.

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He said his name was Vijay Kumar and he resided in the United Kingdom. His native town was Jammu, India. He called me the very same day and we had a long phone chat. It seemed as if we knew each other since years.

He patiently listened to all that I had to say. Talking to a stranger was a very new experience for me. From that day onwards we started talking daily. He used to call me and we used to talk on topics ranging from spirituality to love and what not! He told me that he wasn't a virgin and had a broken engagement, still I accepted him.

He was around 10 years older than me but age and distance were just numbers. I could share anything under the sun with him fearlessly. Our views matched on most of the topics and when they differed, we used to accept them gracefully.

Once he asked for my nude pictures. I refused but still he continued talking. It was difficult for me to judge him. From spirituality to sex, the conversations could go anywhere. He even mentioned that he had dated many girls but I was very different.
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I had been a bipolar disorder patient in the past. For me, disability had never been a curse, rather it taught me numerous lessons but in India discussing mental illness is a taboo. Somehow I mustered up the courage to tell Vijay about my past life. He respected my past and told me that bipolar disorder and depression are a common thing in the UK and I shouldn't worry.

Vijay even told me about his life and I respected that too. Despite all our shortcomings, we accepted each other. I had never seen him nor met him still I felt he was very close to me always. I felt like sharing the slightest details of my life with Vijay. I had never felt like this for any guy earlier.

My mother didn’t like the fact that we spoke so much. One day my mother scolded him badly. I thought that now Vijay would never talk to me. Surprisingly, he did not even utter a word against my mother and spoke politely with me.

This particular incident made me love and respect Vijay much more. I always wanted a guy who would respect not only me but also my parents and Vijay was the one. My relatives reside in the UK. They are well to do. I told Vijay about them and he always insisted that I get a better guy and I shouldn't think about marrying him.

He always felt that since he didn't own a big house and cars, he wasn't a suitable match for me. For him 10 years was a huge age difference. As far as I was concerned I always loved Vijay's companionship. He always boosted my self-confidence and his one phone call brought a huge smile to my face.

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I admired Vijay as a human being and his way of talking on different issues always impressed me. In the month of July Vijay wrote to me, "You are a beautiful girl both inside and outside." These were Vijay's last words as after this he never spoke to me.

Till date I cherish this one line he wrote to me and it brings a smile to my face accompanied with tears as now he is no longer in touch with me. Because of Vijay I had started viewing the world in a positive light. 

Though at times he used to just talk about sex. He once said, "If you cannot love yourself, you cannot love anyone in this world.” I still remember his words and yes now I love myself the most. He filled my life with vibrancy. 

Whenever I used to get time, talking to Vijay was the first thing I used to do. I hope one day I will meet this man whom I love from the very bottom of my heart and I hope someday I will know the reason behind him not talking to me. I somehow feel that Vijay is a sex addict and since I never satisfied his hunger for sex, he no longer wants to talk to me. I hope I get to know the truth one day.