I and my boyfriend broke up after 6 years of relationship. We promised that we would remain friends but little did I know it would be so difficult to forget him. He got married and things couldn't get worse. That's when I took the worst decision of my life. I joined a dating app.

Though I wasn't looking for any relationships, I needed a person to deviate my mind. I found this profile of 6'2" tall, horrible singer, en route to being a sky-diver, and without a second thought, I swiped right and it was a match.

We spoke for a couple of days and exchanged numbers. The more we spoke, the more I realized how much we are alike. He is exactly the kind of a guy I always wanted. I knew I was falling for him deeply and madly even before meeting him. Then came a day when we finally met after a month of chatting, and I couldn't believe that someone knew me this well.

I was so comfortable with him and never felt like it was our first date. As we had a common love for graveyards and ghosts, we thought of visiting such a place. I insisted him on taking me there at midnight.

We went to a graveyard at midnight and trespassing the secretariat gates, it was all about adventures. He knew the knack of making me feel special, knowing the little things that I love. He never failed to make me happy.

On a random day, he just gave me the location and asked me to come there. The only clue was his favourite spot in the city. Knowing him well, I knew it must be his house's terrace. I didn't mind going to his home on our third meeting because I wanted to be close to him.

We sat and spoke for hours and he poured his heart out. He showed me the tent that he uses when he goes out for trekking and asked me to come in. Almost close to midnight, on the terrace in a tent close to each other, it couldn't get more romantic. We had our first kiss and it wasn't planned by either of us. It is something that I would cherish forever.

After that, I noticed weird changes in the way he texts me. I finally confronted him asking what's going on, that's when we met and he told the kiss we had just happened at the moment, and he doesn't really like me that way.

I was shattered but said that's okay, I get it. I didn't want to lose him, so I gathered all my courage and asked him if we can be friends with benefits, and to my shock, he just said yes.

After that, we met many times just to be intimate. All I hoped was at least by getting physical with him, he would realize how much he means to me. One such time when we met, he wanted the lights to be on but I didn't agree to it, and after it was done, I just noticed his mobile placed in the corner. When I saw it, it was he recording our love-making.

I was pissed off, angry, but not on him. Even after that, I couldn't hate him. He just told me that he doesn't want to meet me anymore. I tried talking to him many times after that, but all he does is ignore me.

I don't know if I deserve him or not, I don't know what wrong I have done, but I still love him. I still think of him every single day, every single time I see a couple, I still feel his presence.

I'm not sure if we both will ever meet or talk, but I can never hate him nor stop loving him. He made my dreams come true and the six months with him were the best days of my life and made me realize that I can love a person to that extent. I wish we both could still be friends, just friends. All I want is him in my life.

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