I Finally Found The Guy Who Loved Me Back And I Ruined It

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 18 August, 2017

Everything was one sided. I was in a relationship with a person for 2 years in my mind and finally I gathered some courage to tell him about how I felt after 2 years again. I texted him, "I have fallen for you and the more I want to stop thinking about you, the more I end up hurting myself."

The reason behind the courage was none other than my best friend. She has seen me go through the pain for the last 2 years and then I received a text from him saying, "See we are going to give board exam so we do need to CONCENTRATE on our studies so don't think about all this. I will surely contact you after the exams."

All I ever did was wait for him. After our exams were over, I couldn't bear the pain anymore. I used to get anxious whenever I thought "What if I come across him?".
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So I changed the city, I went to another state for studying. It took me one year to forget whatever I did to myself. At that time there was a friend of mine from that college who used to make me feel secure, loved and much more. Slowly I realized that I have fallen for someone again. But again there was a fear that "What if I end up making the same mistake?" "What if he replies no?" And this time I thought of saying nothing to anyone about him, rather I decided to talk to him just as friends. This time I was happy with that because at least I was able to talk with him. And little did I know he had also fallen for me. Yes!

This time someone has fallen for me and it was not a dream. It was for real. He made me feel like a princess.

He started caring for me like I am his child. It was not only love for me? He became someone whom I could trust, he was undoubtedly loyal to me and I don't know what happened, some silly fights separated us. The plans we had for OUR future and everything seemed to be a dream now. Now as we have broken up and he is not with me anymore, I can't stop blaming myself for whatever I have done to US.

Yes I have ruined us. He was not just a boyfriend for me, he was an ideal husband with whom I would have loved to spend my whole life. Happily.