I met her through an arrange marriage arrangement. Initially, her father came and met my family and said that they want the guy to meet the girl whenever he comes back home on leave. I told my father that we should proceed further only once I meet her. During this while, I started dreaming of her and made my own dream world. We both start communicating. We shared our likes and dislikes, spoke about our expectations and so on. I was excited to meet her as she was the first girl whom I was meeting personally.

I got called by my father and he told me to forget about the girl as our horoscopes were not matching.

Because I am manglik, she could die once I marry her. I kept silent and stopped thinking about her. Then my family had a rift with our mutual relatives regarding this relationship. During this period, my mobile was not working and I had to give it to the service centre. After few days, I was browsing Facebook on my laptop and she had sent me a friend request. I thought it was too much and I cancelled the request. Then after a few minutes, I myself sent her a friend request. Then we started communicating, the day came when I went Home after a month. I wanted to meet her, it was 5 o clock that evening when I sent her a message and she replied. I had met her that morning, it was a wonderful morning. I moved back home then.

My relatives made me meet other girls but they did not know I had already met her. I met other girls that day but my mind was focused on her. We met again the next evening, we had dinner together and shared ice-cream. After that, we started having regular communication and calls. She wanted everything to happen so fast. She kept asking me to go ahead with the Roka. I told her to wait some time as I wanted us both to become financially strong. We both lived in different cities. I wanted to test my love. In the middle of Dussehra, she had fasted for me on karwachauth. I did not realize that I had started making a distance from her. I started ignoring her after 2 months but then I was missing her. During this period I was busy with my father’s cancer treatment. He is having vocal cancer, I put all my efforts towards him. Though I would text her and met her also. She replied once, “I was having lots of expectations from you but you failed me and broke my family’s trust”.

I just texted back with “K. I was in depression, I was confused then what to do so I started ignoring you. I did not realize what I was doing.”

She was also suffering from mental and physical pain but she never told me about it at that time. She was in depression also because of my immature behaviour. She told me her father is looking for another guy for her. She was the first to wish me on my birthday. I know she also has strong feelings for me. Few days later, she stopped replying to my texts. I also started missing her and was just depressed. I convinced my family to send a marriage proposal to her family but she denied. I could not understand what was happening. She kept saying I broke her trust and now I was putting pressure on my family when it was too late. She called me a fake man, a fuckboy. I told her I wanted to test my love and settle well before marriage, she told me to move on. My mind was not ready to accept her rejection. I did not want to waste time and efforts that our families and we made. She told me I broke her trust but I never tried to take advantage of her. I only distanced myself for the betterment of our future. She is not communicating with me since the past 3 months. She is my first love which I do not want to lose.

My family is ready to accept her but she doesn’t want me anymore. I wish she takes a stand for me.

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