I Didn't Even Realize I Was In An Abusive Relationship Until My Own Kids Pointed It Out For Me

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 29 August, 2018

It's going to be an end of my 24 years of abusive married life. I was 24 when I married a handsome officer but his violent and abusive behaviour changed my personality totally. Initially, he tortured me for dowry. And after a year of our marriage, when I delivered a baby girl, he tortured me for that too.

He criticized me on my every move or sentence.

I left my job as he told me to take care of the kid. After 4 years, I delivered a baby boy. When my son started going to school, I would join a school whenever we got posted. He didn't give any money for the house expenses and I would spend all my earnings to avoid any fight at home. He controlled me in every way by checking my mobile. He didn't allow me to go to my relatives and parents’ house but every year, we visited his sister and parents.

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For him, his family was everything and I was nothing.

I was just a slave who served him and his relatives. When my relatives used to come home, he never behaved with them properly. So everyone eventually stopped coming. I tried many times to leave but for the sake of kids, I could not. He beat me many times by accusing my relationship with other men. In reality, I never had an affair with any man neither before the marriage nor after. According to him, har aurat pit ti hai. He had affair in every city wherever we got posted. I know girls used to come to my place whenever I wasn't around. Even when we shifted abroad, he was having an affair with a divorced lady there. I was shocked when I got to know that he had asked her to marry him.

I was totally shattered and tired of his criticism and violent behavior.

This continued for years and by that time, my kids got matured. They had asked me to get separated. Earlier I was not aware that I was being abused when we came abroad. But then, I did counselling and that’s when I started observing all his behaviour. Many times, I thought of going to the police but for my kids, I restricted myself. According to him, a man is allowed to do anything but women can’t. Aurat pair ki juti hoti hai jab chaahe badal do.

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I feel very sorry for my kids as they didn't get a good environment at home.

He is after money every time and thinks that only branded things make a home. All of his relatives are against me because he sends a lot of money to them. Now I have decided to take divorce and lead a peaceful life. Now I think I have wasted 24 beautiful years of my life and my career. But every night has a morning. Here I am, now a confident and strong woman at her 50 to fight with the world.

Editor's Note:

Like the author said, "Every night has a morning." I'm glad she found her sunshine again. Share this story if you are happy too.