I'd just given my engineering exams when I got married. Though it was an arranged marriage, we had six months time between engagement and marriage to get to know each other.
My husband looked like a hero – very handsome, friendly, very good and above all, a very caring person.
It didn't take me long to fall for him. We used to speak over the phone for hours together, and sometimes, all day and night. We both loved each other a lot and couldn’t live without one another. One day, during one of our conversations, he complained about his hurdles in the job and told that he was continuing his job just because of me. If he wasn’t committed to marrying me, he would have left his job. When he told me this, I didn't realize what he is saying and didn't think much about it.
I was told that he was working in a very big MNC, but after the engagement, he told me that he was into BPO, and that his income was very less. I am a girl who doesn't think that money everything in life. And at that time, I was in my last semester, busy with classes, project, coaching, and what not! On the top of it, I was very busy chatting with him on phone, Skype, emails.
During the campus selections, I got into a very good company and the package was pretty good. In fact, it was more than his.
He was very happy when I told him this. But on the same night, he told me not to join the company. I didn't know the exact reason behind it, but when I asked him, he casually brushed it off. Later, we came to know that company is not in the city where he lived. I asked him to relocate so that I could join the company. But he and his parents didn't agree to it.
So I turned down the offer, and married him.
When I was at my in-law's house after the wedding, he left the job and came to us. He was in a lot of pressure because of wedding leaves and also, he had met with an accident just before marriage and was on a prolonged leave because of the same.
Eventually, he lost interest in his job. He told me he could find another job very easily and told me not to worry. We didn't tell anyone about this. We moved to the city where he lived and got a house; my dad bought the entire furniture for us and left.
With time, I was waiting for him to search for a new job. But it didn't happen. As if it weren’t enough, he used to drink every now and then. No job, no money, yet we had to pay monthly expenses.
I was desperately searching for a job but since I was a mechanical engineer, there were very few companies and almost no opportunities for freshers. Finally, I began trying for government jobs. On the other hand, we had a lot of tensions because of the lack of money.
We started taking a loan from finance companies every month and even more loans to pay the interest.
Days passed by and we ended up mortgaging all the gold for loans. I got fed up and shouted at him one day. After a few days, he joined a company. But the income was not sufficient because of the interest we had to pay. Finally, I got a job with very less salary while he left his job again.
After office hours, I started taking tuitions, just to earn some more, while used to cook for us.
With that little experience, I knew I was no more a fresher and it opened my gates to the opportunities at MNCs. Eventually, I got a job with a very good package. I stopped taking tuitions, but then, he took a loan to clear off the credit, and some other minor loans and to celebrate his father's 60th birthday.
He didn't listen to me when I told not to take a big amount. He has been taking care of finances, which, if I take care of, would hurt his ego. Even after earning very well, our expenditure was more than our income.
He doesn't think before spending but he doesn't spend on shopping or anything. We have been married for 6 years and I haven't seen him buying anything for himself. We spend more on dining out and drinks. So, no savings, no money to buy gold, which makes me feel so sad.
Because of all this, we didn't plan for a child yet, but I want to become a momma some day for which he is not ready yet.
Also, I didn't want a child until he stops smoking and drinking. But despite all this, our relationship is very good, and we both love each other.
I just don't know how and in what way he can start his career afresh and grow professionally. He hasn’t been working for the last 2.5 years. And whenever he is drunk, he vents out his frustration and seems depressed. He also lost interest in sex. And I try to stand by him and make him feel better and confident.
He is a very intelligent man and I even call him Wikipedia, as he is highly knowledgeable. Once in a while, he says that he is going to quit smoking and drinking and then we can plan for a child.
But he rarely speaks about his career. Though I wish he did.