I Am Crazy About Him So I Cheated On Him Before He Could Walk Away

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 30 August, 2017

I was in a relationship that I wanted to last for a lifetime, but it only lasted 3 years and 10 months. He proposed me for marriage but within one month, he told me that he would never disclose to his parents about me as he is the "Good Boy" of the family, and it was too late for me to step back then. I had fallen in love or should I say, fallen for the 'trap'.

This was the kind of trap from which it was not impossible to escape, but it was the trap from which I never wanted to escape. Escape would mean losing the only chance to spend a lifetime with the first love of my life.

After being in a relationship for 3 years, I wanted to get married to someone, to anyone. I used to fight with my parents to get me married, because I knew I would not love anyone again but seeing him getting married first would break me down. I created my own profiles on various matrimonial sites while I was still in that 'trap'. You must be thinking I cheated on him. Well, maybe I did or maybe I did not.

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On one such matrimonial site, I met my fiancé. I did not tell him that I was in a relationship with someone else.

It started with exchanging a casual ‘hey’ and ‘hello’, and eventually this led to our roka ceremony. Two days after my roka, I messaged my boyfriend that I could not take the relationship further as my family was searching for a groom for me. I wasn't surprised by his reaction, which was 'no reply'.

He called me after one week of our breakup and told me that he was checking whether I had blocked him or not, because he assumed I may have been scared that his messages or calls would disturb my married life.

The only answer I gave to him was, “I wasn’t scared to fall for you when you told me you would never marry me, I was not scared to know that you were out of town with some other girl, but I was scared to death that you will never call me after the breakup and I am not scared anymore.”