Confession Relationships Life patriarchy toxic abusive relationship

How It Really Feels To Grow Up With A Rich Abusive Father

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I am 22 years old and currently studying in final year of graduation. This story is not only about me but about every child who has seen his/her family fall apart. I have seen my mother getting mentally and physically tortured every day. My mother forcefully got married at the early age of 17. She knew my father since childhood. He had convinced her family by promising to keep her happy. Coming from a humble family she fell for the pressure and got married. Since then she is under tremendous mental and physical trauma.

My father is a difficult person to understand. To the extent that I even hate to call him my father. It’s really difficult for me to forget my childhood memories. I can’t forget about how I hid behind the stairs to see my father.

He sat on my mother and hit her the way no one would even hit an animal. I, then just seven years old, was there staring helplessly at her and cried continuously.

When I was 10 years old, I remember him banging my mother’s head on the showcase. The showcase's glass broke and she was profusely bleeding with her swollen head. I felt powerless as I was too young to protect her from my father’s cruelty.

Throughout my childhood I hated him for the way he treated my mother but the outsiders often thought of him as a good husband and a father.

Even though at the back of my mind, I agreed that he had done enough for me and for my younger brother. Then in class 7, he could not gain my respect and love for the way he inhumanly treated my mother. It made him feel as if I was also weak and powerless like my mother. But fortunately he was wrong. I am not patient and tolerant enough to accept his wrath. The first time I revolted against him was when I was in class 10. It was at his friend’s house during a function. My father saw me talking to a guy who was 10 years older than me. His impatient nature and doubting mentality made him feel insecure for no reason. After gulping down some alcohol he abused me for the 1st time.

He said all those things that no father would have said to his daughter.

That day after all that drama and humiliation, I lost my temper and answered back. All the anger and frustration stored in me for the last many years, oozed out on that day. That gave me some strength to fight against him. I could stop him from raising his hand on my mom. My strength added up to his frustration and he locked my mom inside the house.

He din't even allow her to attend my maternal granny’s last rites. I could stop him from physical abuse of my mom. He continued torturing her mentally.

When I was in my 2nd year of graduation, I got a job for the role of a HR recruiter. With the thought of gaining little experience while learning, I decided to accept the offer. He had a problem with it. But I went ahead to join the job and had to pay for my courage later. Once he came home fully drunk and banged my head on the wall. My mother somehow managed to get me an escape from his hold.

Finally I decided to leave the house. I sought some help from the neighbours. They tried counselling him as well as me. Post discussion with them, I realised that leaving my mother alone in that house with him was risky. So I decided to stay back. I warned him not to cause any harm to my mother. Just after 2 months, his so-called friends spoke ill about my character. He blindly believed that his daughter is a s*** who sleeps with multiple guys. That day he came home in anger and tried to kill me. Sensing the critical situation and safety of myself and my mother, I called the police. Fortunately they reached on time and saved me from his wrath.

After all this drama, my mother denied to leave the house but he only dragged her by her hair and pushed her out of the gate. Then we both decided to seek the help of our neighbours and stayed at their place for the next four days. Finally mom also realised that it was difficult to change him. We decided not to stay with him. But then everyone adviced admitting him in a rehabilitation centre to get rid of his drinking addiction. We did so. Now he has left alcohol but is still torturing us mentally. We are hopeful that soon this will also come to an end. He is rich. He keeps threatening about putting us behind the bars. But after facing all this,

I am feeling strong enough to face him. I am not scared of him anymore. I don’t feel guilty about going against him as I saved my mother’s as well as my life.

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