He Wants Me As His Lover, Not His Wife

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 3 September, 2017

I am a bubbly girl from a Punjabi family. I lost my mom when I was a child. But God gave me a sister who took care of me just like a mother but now she got married and I live with my father who doesn't care about me. He's drunk all the time and I am completely alone now. Only my keep me happy.

I've been through tough times in my life but I am a strong girl now. I also want someone who cares for me and loves me. I handle all situations in my life but now I feel so weak and alone because of my best friend.

I met him on Facebook one and a half years ago. He sent me a request and I accepted it as he looked charming and also looked like an emotional person. In the beginning we were just good friends but as time passed we came close to each other. We chatted the whole night every day and after 6 months he proposed to me. I was also addicted to him but I didn't say yes. I was scared because of my ex lover who had cheated on me in the first year of my graduation.

Advertisement
We broke up and now I like my best friend but he wants to be in a relationship with me. I just want to stay as his best friend all my life. 

One day he blocked me because he tried to forget me, he wanted to just be my lover. I miss him so much but I can't break my rules just because I want him as my best friend only and not as my boyfriend. So I also tried to forget him but all failed, may be destiny had other plans for me.

One year passed like this and one day I go to his city for my entrance exam and I call him to meet me casually. We went for movie and he kissed me without my permission. I didn't utter a word after we kissed and then we went back to being normal as if nothing had happened but after I went home, he messaged me saying he loved me and wanted to be my lover. I again didn't agree because his intention was not to marry me in the future because of his family problems.

I love him and miss him badly, his memories slap me on the face all the time. I can't forget him but last night he blocked me from everywhere again, I cry all night every night and beg him not to leave me alone but he is gone.

He wants me to be his lover, not wife. 
Author's Note:

I don't know what to do, I feel so bad now. Please give me your ideas?