Matters of the heart are complicated. You like someone and that someone breaks your heart. And you wonder, why?
When I first decided to pursue my PG, I never expected heartbreak to follow my degree.
I had enrolled myself in a Master's course. The day of the entrance exam came, followed by different rounds of selections. I did not think that I would last long. But time passed by and I got selected for the course. Soon college started and all I saw was my classmates, everyone a year or two younger than me.
The first day was horrible for me, I could not adapt, I was a shy girl who didn’t look that good (I’ve always lived with that inferiority complex).
Two months went by and everyone started making good friends and so did I...The first semester was the best, I excelled in all the events I participated in, received a lot of love and learnt about talents, which I never knew I had.
I sometimes wonder what I would have done had this college not happened to me...
It was a normal day, my friends and I were chilling in the ground, like we did all the time. And then comes this guy - The tall left-hander in a typical white shirt, holding a camera and goofing around college. I felt that I had seen him somewhere. And then it clicked; I’d seen him several times during my college admissions.
I was not interested in him at that time; I didn’t even know his name but I randomly told my friend that he looked handsome and cute.She, being this total dumbo, started stalking him, finding random things about him, including his phone number. And then one day, she randomly called him. Literally all I could say to him was sorry!
My course used to be in the morning while his started in the afternoon. But I would see him during the mornings. Soon my classmates got to know there was something fishy going on. I was not interested in these things. His friends and he would try to get my attention by doing silly things.
He would always look for me in my group of friends, always turn around when he heard my name.
He would smile at me; that cute old smile which gradually made me fall for him. It was his smile that won me over and I thought, “This is the man.”
He was my senior in college and soon it was time for his farewell. For the next two months, I missed him like crazy; I just couldn’t wait to see him. My friends figured that I liked him. And after several months, I finally gathered my courage and told him that I liked him. But times had changed.
From someone who would do anything just to see me, he had become someone who didn’t even make an effort to spend time.
I waited for months and one fine day, I directly asked him, “Do you have another girl in your life?” I expected a ‘no’ but instead, I got a ‘yes’. That was the worst day ever. My mom had taken me out to buy a necklace that I really wanted. I still remember going around the streets of Chennai, crying helplessly, because I didn’t want my mom to see me like that.
Months have passed by and now my family wants me to get married. But I don’t have an answer for them.
I feel heartbroken, not because I loved him so much. But because of the trust he broke, because I was so blind… so stupid.
Now I’m not interested in another relationship, but I may try in the future, just for my best friend. Only for him, because not all men break hearts, some even mend them like my bestie does…