He Broke My Heart But He Gave Me A Better Reason To Never Sleep At Night

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 15 February, 2018

I am a 27-year-old average Indian girl who had simple dreams of finding a good life partner and marrying him.

Since childhood, I have lived in a fantasy world of dreamy partners and perfect marriages, all thanks to Bollywood (I hate Bollywood for ruining my life!).

I’ve never done anything wrong to anyone because my morals will never allow me to do it. Cheating or hurting others for my own benefit was never a part of my values.

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Last year, I was hibernating from midlife, work, and emotional crises, away from all kinds of social media when something magical happened.

A guy, whom I'd once met at a common friend's party, contacted me. He changed my life. He told me it was love at first sight when we met on 26th August 2016. He contacted me on 24th December and we started talking about general things.

Eventually, our casual talks turned into romantic conversations and we developed a liking for each other. Texting each other the whole day and sharing every incident with him made me feel good about him.

It was like finding a companion to share your journey, especially when you are an individual staying away from your family.
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We officially met on 1st January 2017 and called it our first date. Then he had to leave for an assignment outside the country. However, his going abroad never affected our relationship as we madly in love with each other.

In the initial days of our relationship when we spoke about commitment, he clearly mentioned that he would not be able to marry me, as I was a non-Maharashtrian. His family would never accept an inter-caste marriage.

However, in the initial months of any relationship, you are not sure about the future, so we continued our relationship hoping that time would change things and he would try to convince his parents.

With each passing day, our relationship grew stronger. During his trips to India, he always made time for me. He'd meet me almost every day even though we stayed nearly 20 km away from each other.

In the span of our nearly year-long relationship, we went out on several trips just to spend time with each other. I loved him madly and deeply and so did he.

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It was a dream come true for me to be with him.

But nothing is permanent, definitely not the good times. On his recent trip to India, he was asked to visit a prospective bride. He met her but didn’t tell me about it. It was on 10th October, the day after he met the girl when his behaviour suddenly changed.

He started pretending that I was a burden on his life, which he didn’t wish to bear further.

When I asked him what was wrong, he said that his parents were disappointed when he told them about us. They stopped talking to him and he had lost their trust.

He had to win their trust back because he couldn’t stay without his parents.

I understood the situation and tried to calm him because he seemed to be facing a tough time at home. I decided to give him time till things settled down. Unfortunately, I had to leave for my hometown for Diwali on 14th October and he came to see me off.

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Though he came with good intentions, somehow, I had an intuition that it was my last meeting with him.

Before getting on the bus, I requested him to wait for me to come back. He said "yes" and I left.

I cried during the entire journey because of his sudden behaviour change, which hurt me more than anything else. I was not able to digest that things had become so different almost overnight.

All this time, I was his priority; he gave up on his friends, family, and everything else just to make sure that I was happy. And suddenly, I had become a burden for him!

I am an introvert by nature and have not allowed many people to be a part of my life. I have few, very few friends, and just family with whom I stay connected. The rest of the world doesn't matter to me.

I hadn't met my family for 10 months because whenever I decided to visit my hometown, he'd want to spend time with me. I too wanted to give my 1000% to this relationship, as he was the most wonderful, caring and loving person that I’d ever met. He was my top priority.

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I was devastated with the things going on in my life, but I had to pretend to be happy at home because I didn't want my parents to see my dull and unhappy face after such a long time.

I was dying inside but smiling outside as I spent my Diwali holidays. By the time I returned to the city, he had gone back to his workplace.

Things were not great but they weren’t bad either as we were still talking regularly.

I felt that there was some discomfort but I controlled myself because I wanted to give him enough time and space and be by his side during the tough time. I was hoping that he would talk to his family and try to convince them.

I was willing to wait for him for a year or two till his parents happily accepted us.

I never want him to be deprived of his parents' love because being a girl, I understand how difficult it is to leave your parents. I requested him to let me meet his family and try to change their mind.

I even offered to tell my parents to speak to his parents but he denied everything. At that time, I was also in the process of applying to MBA schools.

He was not comfortable with me studying abroad, so I gave up on that as well.

I was ready to study in India, as long as he was with me; after all, he was my strength. Things went on as usual for a while.

Since we consulted each other for everything, he asked me to help him shop for an upcoming function in his house on 4th December. I happily chose a blue kurta for him, unaware that I was selecting an outfit for his engagement!

Finally, the disastrous day dawned in my life. It was 9th November and I had returned home after a regular day at work. We usually spoke at 7:30 when he had completed his dinner (as per his local time) and I was home from work.

We started talking and he mentioned that he wanted to say something important.

He said it was over between us and he was going to marry someone else!

I asked him if he had met some other girl while I was away? I just wanted to know the truth!

He claimed that he had not found anyone but would have to do so eventually to keep his parents happy.

He came back to India on 29th November for the function in his house. From 9th to 20th November, I kept asking him to be honest with me and tell me if he had found someone else.

I was willing to quietly walk away from the relationship.

He kept denying it till 20th November when he ultimately confessed that he was getting engaged on 4th December. My life was shattered. I was clueless about what went wrong and I begged him till the day of his engagement. However, he just pushed me away.

I broke down! He mentioned that his family had chosen a girl for him and he had agreed to the match. But I got to know that their engagement rings were customized with their names on them.

Was all this planning possible within just 8 days (Nov 26th to Dec 4th) and that too for a girl whom he had never met?

I spent sleepless nights when I saw him online on WhatsApp even as he ignored me and was busy with my replacement. The guy who loved me so much had completely forgotten me!

It was like I didn't even exist for him! He never even bothered to check if I was fine, instead, he kept abusing me.

I don't think I will ever discover the truth but now he is "happily engaged" to that girl and she is living the life that I'd dreamt of.

They display all their affection on social media and I can’t tolerate it. Honestly, I never had a problem with him moving away.

The thing that hurt me the most was his dishonesty.

Why did he lie to me? Did he even try to convince his parents for us?

Even if I want to move on, I am unable to because I can’t understand why such a thing happened to me! Was he genuine and did this for my happiness because his family wouldn't accept me?

If so, why didn’t he patiently wait to convince his parents? When I think about his behaviour in the past month, it makes me wonder – was he always like this?

Did he ever see me as his life partner or was ditching me always on his mind?

Then why did he pretend to love me and care for me? All these thoughts keep me awake at night.

I am unable to understand how a person can stoop so low and give someone immense pain just for his own happiness.

It has made me so vulnerable that I cannot focus on anything in life. I had to quit my job because I couldn’t concentrate. Every memory in that city hurt me so much that I was forced to move back to my hometown. Staying there would never help me get over him.

I don't know why he did this to me but he ruined my life and I will never forgive him for being so selfish.

The pain is immense and I just want to get rid of it and live like a normal girl. I can't kill myself because I can’t hurt my parents to this extent, but I am no more than a dead person.

At this age, I can't move on because I don't want to ruin another guy's life, as I know I will never be able to love him!
Author's Note:

Please don't play with someone’s emotions unless your love is genuine and you will do whatever it takes to be with the person. Even one wrong action of yours can ruin someone's life.

Editor's Note:

Relationships are built on trust and honesty. It is the least that a person expects even when the relationship ends. Share this story because true love deserves the truth.