Dear Mother, You're The One Who Is Keeping Me Alive: Thank You For Making Me Your Priority

Pooja Mahapatra Pooja Mahapatra in Life Is Tough on 14 January, 2017

Struggling with daily dose of work, I get relief when I return back to the closed walls of the bricked single room. Having my dinner, whatsapping, reading, then slipping under the blankets has been my daily routine. But amidst this banal schedule of mine, the one thing that pushes me to survive and relive every single day is my mother’s phone call.

There are moments when I feel stifled, depressed, fighting with my inner self, but it’s you my mother, whose voice pacifies me and calms me down.

The love and care that was flowered upon me, I always thought was the upside of being a single child. But no, for the ‘matter-of-factly’ it was being around you and father. The excitement, anxiety, passion, when I left home, slowed down when our distance and time increased. But with every single call, every home visit (which I get twice a year to see you), you strengthen me more to gear up and face all the odds.

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“You have worked hard for this, don’t back out” -- these words instil in me the discipline and an urge to achieve my desires.

I always have that facing in and out phase, with a fickle mind, varying decisions, and perplexed emotions, I would call you to fix it. But you make no action and still somehow you manage to take it away. You manage to make me feel free, to make decisions simple for me. Some CONJURER I guess!

How do you shape me up when I am distorted, it’s quite incomprehensible to me.

Staying far has been hard so far. I have seen varieties to be frank. There’s been a passerby, there’s been a stay-put friend, there’s been all-the-time-phone-call friend, there’s been a fake-hangover-roomy friend. I thank them for handling me and wish them all the luck to continue handling me.

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But you were right, you will always be the best at it. The invisible strength has always been you. 

I have that charm, zeal, spirit to compete because of YOUR hard work. Perhaps, seeing your professionalism at work makes my hard times worth going through. I have learnt to survive (not mastered yet). I have felt things which are strong enough to keep me motivated. I was always a vague dreamer but you made me a firm believer. There are people who hurt, there are instances that pull me back, but I am learning to let go.

You make me feel special when you say, “My daughter has been my priority at peak”. You have guarded me, pushed me, inspired me, in a way no one ever can. Moreover, you have been a secret-sharing friend over the years. I cherish our bond. The sincerity and honesty it has. Those multiple phone calls in a day, really keep me going. 

I just want to let you know that happiness is being with you, around you, even if it’s just with your voice.
Editor's Note:

Pick up that phone and call her up because it's never too late to say 'Thank You'. Or maybe just share this story with her.