Dear Mom And Dad: I'm Sorry But I Want To Thank You For My Social Anxiety

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 14 June, 2017

Dear Mom and Dad,

I wish you knew how much harm I have caused to my soul just to make you people happy. I wish you knew how lonely and sad I am right now. I wish you knew you were always my priority and I have always put you above everyone else, even myself.

I wish you knew I have no friends and you are the reason for it. I wish you knew I have been a victim of child abuse since a very young age. But I guess you would just blame me for that or worse tell me to forget about it and move on.

You always tried to "protect" me by not letting me have friends or hanging out with people. But you know what, none of the people I trusted did any harm to me. People you trusted did.
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You remember that nephew of yours and that creepy uncle who was my so-called teacher? Yes, them. I am sorry that sometimes I blame you people. I really don't want to, I really love you. Honestly, you people are the only ones left in my life now. And yes, it is because of my social anxiety. But who really caused it, have you even thought about it?

I wish you knew how it felt when you forced me to not have friends at all or when you kept me locked inside the house for months. And then called it concern. You know how suffocating that was. I am sorry but I am not pure. I have already been molested. The things you feared would happen to your daughter have already occurred. It's so funny, right. You people talk so badly about other girls and you have no idea what happened in your own house.

Deep down I always thought it was your love but now I realised what matters to you the most is your respect and name in the society.

Society, is that the reason why I cannot wear clothes of my choice or make friends or step out of the house or have that engineering degree that makes my life all the more worse. And is that the reason that you always embarrass me in front of people for not being a 'good girl' or precisely not acting as your slave?

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I wish you knew how it feels when you scold me in front of everyone or drag me when I don't act all "decent", like taking pictures with my brother at a place full of known people where men are like 10 meters away.

I am really sorry about this letter but I have nobody I can share my feelings with since you made me push people away from my life for your happiness. And I really want to let it out.

Your dearest daughter.