I know every time when I text you and you don't reply, it means you don't want to talk to me. Maybe you are tired of our break up and patch up so often. I have realized that you needed time to think through my behavior, my maturity. Maybe that's what you meant when you said that you were looking for a change. Trust me, I am working on that. I am unsure of how our beautiful relationship met its end in such a sad manner. It was blissful in the beginning. We were wasting our time fighting and not talking to each other.
I know that somewhere it's my immaturity and your lack of understanding my vulnerability.
I think my first heartbreak has changed me the person who I used to be before. It made me fear relationships and I was unable to trust people like I used to before. Maybe that's why I have started off aloof and didn’t put in all my efforts into building this relationship. Trust me; I didn’t know how to take it forward with all that fear of losing and facing a betrayal that I had been through.
I would like to confess that I gradually fell in love with you. I remember the moment when you expressed your feelings towards me. I said, 'I don't know!' Once you kissed and asked me if I would like to accompany you to your hometown. I meekly replied, 'I don't know!'
I was so dumb and didn't realize that it was love and commitment that you were hinting at. All these little gestures remind me of how you took efforts to get closer to me. That's how it started. I would just neglect all of them. Trust me, it was not me. It was that person who was once broken into pieces and was too scared of happiness.
Well, by the time I realized, it was too late. You had already learnt how to live without me. You started ignoring me and acted rude, which eventually became the reason for our breakup.
My beloved, I never wanted to let you go. Neither then, nor now. All those times when I said that I want to break up our relationship, I just wanted you to hold my hand. You often sought the help of your friends while trying to patch up with me. I so badly wished that it was you who took a stand and not your friends.
Even I wanted to save our relationship and I would just come back to you. Despite you being so rude to me then, I hoped that we get back together. I still love you very much. Let's give us one more chance. Let's talk it out. Let's at least check if we are compatible.
We often fought when we were together. Let's reverse it this time.
Let's spend some quality time together. Let's give it a chance for the sake of attachment we shared in the very beginning with so many wonderful memories and time spent together. Let's keep our differences aside and talk to each other. I'm sensitive and it's a little difficult to understand me. I will also try to look beyond your rude nature.