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Dating My Friend's Ex Was The First Step I Took To Write My Own Nightmare

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

This is the story of someone that was a fool who fell in love with the devil and followed him into Hell. I was the fool. He was the Devil.

This guy had been dating my friend for 5 years and once they broke up, it barely took him a month before he started dating someone. Once that fizzled out, he turned his attention to me.

Now, I had recently broken up with someone and was still not ready to move on but I would be lying if I said I did not enjoy the attention I received from this guy. He was very good looking and he knew it. I knew that I shouldn't be dating a friend's ex and that’s exactly what I told him. He didn't care. I asked my friend if she was ok if I pursued a possible relationship with him and she, at the time, seemed completely fine with it.

So, I thought, what the heck!? Let me give it a shot. Thus, my saga with a raging sociopath started.

His words were flowery but so manipulative that I hardly realized that they were empty and without meaning. At that stage in life, I was dying to find my soulmate and I was blinded by what I thought was Love. I truly believed back then that he fit the bill perfectly for my perfect man. I was swept away by the flood of his lies and trickery. He asked me to marry him. He asked me to quit my career and perfect life in Delhi and move in with him. And the fool that I was, I said Yes.

I moved to Bangalore to be by his side. It didn't take long for him to start showing his true colours. From taking control of all my social media handles to constantly checking my phone and accusing me of cheating, his emotional abuse started almost instantly. But I was in love too intensely to think clearly. Whenever I protested, he tried to make me feel like did me a favour by being with a "girl like me". In his words, the fact that I have tattoos and a past with other men made me a slut. 

But things kept going on and neither of us pulled the plug. But things were about to change drastically for the worse.

I started living with his mother and sister. This is when life really started to resemble a nightmare. They would repeatedly make me feel worthless and hate on me if he gave me any attention. Their insecurities started taking a toll on our relationship, naturally. If I cooked something, my mother would downright refuse to eat it most of the times, saying it would give her acidity. On the days she did eat, she would make a huge fuss about how it made her sick. She didn't even like it her children ate anything I prepared.

Her dislike of me could not be more evident.

My mother-in-law’s passive aggression in the house was so suffocating that it was hard living in the house that was supposed to be ours. Every other day, the negativity would escalate. She moved out all my stuff from my wardrobe and refused to even give me a place to put my clothes for months without even asking me. She used all my stuff like it belonged to her. Honestly, the worst part is that I wouldn't even have refused had she at least asked me once with affection.

This is the same lady who earlier used to call me every day earlier and talk for hours pretending to care about me so much. My own mother warned me much before that this is all too sugar-coated to be real and I should be cautious. If only I had heeded her words.

But the straw that broke the camel’s back was when his father came to visit and everybody pretended as if I was "visiting" and don't actually live there. He's called me characterless, questioned my upbringing, called my mother characterless, insulted me for my modernity and even passed snide comments about my weight. And all this, while I was way more accomplished than their son. That episode completely damaged me and finally, something within me broke and I started pushing him away after and took out all my frustrations on him in the nastiest way I could. Even after all that happened, a part of me hoped that maybe he will see things from my perspective, calm me down and stay by my side. 

But alas, a son is a reflection of their parents and he ended up ending things between us leaving me helpless, confused and depressed. Since I started living with his family, I put on a lot of weight because I simply don't have the drive to do anything in life and he honestly couldn't care less. I know now that it's time for me to move on and that I deserve far better. But what eats at me is that there is still so many men (AND women) going around making fake promises and ruining innocent lives. My advice to young women – Next time you come across a man being super romantic and extremely sweet- wait till you watch their real face reveal itself. 

As for me, I guess it was all Karma and that I paid for my own mistakes. I shouldn't have dated a friend's ex and I definitely shouldn't have jumped into a relationship with the first guy who showed me any affection after a relationship ended. Life is a harsh teacher but lessons have been learned. I will emerge from this nightmare stronger, wiser and more empowered than EVER!

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