An Older Man Made Me His Girlfriend When I Was 14: After 3 Years, I Became 'Underage' Suddenly.

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 15 July, 2017

I was 14. He was 22.

An 8 year difference in age didn't stop us from being in a 3 year long relationship. My family came to know about this in the very beginning and they forced me to leave him, but I couldn't. I loved him and he loved me too. He was caring, understanding, mature, and loyal.

My mother used to go to his workplace and threaten him, but he wouldn't budge. He wouldn't leave my side. My family and I were at loggerheads! But he always used to say this- they are your family and they fight for your welfare only. Another 'crime' of his was belonging to a lower caste, and my sharp-tongued family didn't spare him the insults. Through all this, he kept calm. I fought tooth and nail in his defense. I would bunk school and tutions, meet him, call him from PCOs, and write letters inspite of my family's best efforts to stop me. This went on for almost 3 years, and it was mostly okay.

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Did I mention that I really loved him? We wanted to marry each other. But fortune had something else in store for us.

Before he met me, he was in a relationship with another girl, but they had to break up because of her family. For a year, he waited for her and she never got back to him. A year later, we happened. I just hate that girl. After some time, she started calling him up regularly to tell him that she still loved him. She would claim not to marry anyone until he did. He asked me if he could just talk to her as a friend. Like a fool, I agreed.

I trusted him, and he would also tell me everything about their conversations. But slowly, I could see how he was changing. He began to abuse me and lose interest in me. One day in February 2016, he asked me if he could go meet her. I was too possessive of him and I refused. He said it was okay, but went to meet her at a park anyway. I had no issues with him meeting her, but the problems started right after that. I said nothing. A month later, he met her around Holi again.

He made no time for me, but he had all the time in the world for his ex. You would never believe why! He wanted BOTH his girls.
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He said he would be with both his girls and never leave either of us on his own. If I wanted to leave him, I was free to go. But how could I? In fact, why would I? One fine day he said he would be in a relationship with me, but never marry me! What's the point, I asked him, if we were going to be in a relationship without a future? To which he bravely said that he would marry a girl of his family's choice, provided she would let him have an affair with me after marriage. That was the last time I would let him leave me speechless.

He was a changed man, a fickle man who would break up with me one day and patch up with me on another day. And then, he broke up with me one last time. I cried, begging him not to leave me, spending sleepless nights, and leaving my books to study by themselves. Me and my true love were royally dumped by the man I loved. Depression and suicidal thoughts became my constant companions.

He had slapped me, left me, and run back to his ex-girlfriend. A month later, he came back and said he had made a big mistake and coaxed me into taking him back, and before I knew it, he was meeting her again. He had nothing to say when I asked him what he meant to do with me. Instead, he broke up with me yet again.

His definition of love was having a girlfriend who would never bother him with his other affairs.

I swore never to put myself in that position again. I stopped calling myself his girlfriend in May last year, and by July, he was married.

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Depression. Hyperventilation. Suicidal thoughts. Repeat. But suddenly, the legitimate excuse he had was how I was not even 18. Apparently, I have my whole life ahead of me and I shouldn't worry if he left me. I wonder where this bright idea was hiding when I was 14! I broke up with him, but he was still all around. We would see each other when we passed by in the neighbourhood, and for 3 full months, his friends used to tease me with his name whenever they saw me on the streets. I had to call him and ask him to stop them. With a lot of difficulty, I overcame my pain and moved on.

As it turns out, he married his ex before I could even stop crying. Why? Because baby, "Main majboor tha!"

A year later, he says he still loves me. When I ask him to focus on his wife, he says he wants to meet me. When I remind him that he is married, he declares his desire to fuck me! "So what if I'm married?" he says. WHAT ARE WOMEN TO HIM? As much as I'd like to understand, I took the shortcut and blocked him. I'm sincerely hoping that he will never talk to me again. And I'm also grateful for his betrayal and utter lack of decency. I have learnt enough lessons to keep me strong in this lifetime. 

Editor's Note:

Older men make good boyfriends, but they also bring a power imbalance. Share this story so that every girl knows the difference between maturity and manipulation.